Jaden Smith DEFIES Jada, REUNITES with Ex Sab Zada?! Pregnancy Rumors EXPLODE as Kylie Jenner Left in the Dust!

Well, folks, Hollywood’s most spiritually-inflamed, crystal-powered, water molecule-tweeting philosopher prince has done it again.

In a plot twist so outrageous even M.

Night Shyamalan choked on his green juice, Jaden Smith just announced that he’s ENGAGED and EXPECTING A CHILD with none other than ex-girlfriend Sab Zada — yes, the same Sab he reportedly dumped last summer after frolicking with Instagram temptress Khleopatre on a yacht so luxurious it probably came with its own ego coach.

And if that weren’t enough to make you drop your organic oat milk latte, sources now say Kylie Jenner — who Jaden had been “low-key rekindling the vibe” with in recent months — is officially OUT of the picture and, according to one insider, “absolutely DONE with his moon-sign nonsense. ”

Let’s rewind, because this Gen-Z novella is a mess even Maury wouldn’t touch.

After quietly splitting from Sab Zada sometime in August 2024, Jaden went full heartbreak-core mode — partying in Ibiza, rocking new-age tunics, and mysteriously posting things like “Time is a construct but love is a waveform” on Twitter.

That was around the time he was photographed canoodling on a yacht with Khleopatre, an Instagram model who describes herself as a “sun-powered femme entity with dragon ancestry.

” So naturally, fans assumed Sab was old news and Jaden was living his best chaotic boy summer.

But plot twist — Sab’s not just back.

She’s BACK BACK.

According to sources who claim to have overheard a FaceTime call from three tables away at Erewhon, Jaden and Sab have “rekindled their cosmic alignment” and are now “building a sacred family rooted in mutual understanding and kale.

” Yes, the same Sab Zada who hadn’t been seen with Jaden since the yacht incident.

The same Sab Zada who, according to sources, once ghosted him mid-reiki session because he called her aura “too magenta. ”

Yet here we are.

Jaden Smith, 27, spiritual icon and professional vibe consultant, is allegedly not only ENGAGED to Sab but also expecting a child with her.

The announcement came via a blurry Instagram story that featured a photo of two intertwined hands wearing matching quartz rings with the caption: “Love reborn.

Legacy activated. 💫👶🏼🌀”

Fans were still trying to decode that when Sab posted a photo of a pink crystal on her belly, tagging it “coming soon. ”

Cue the internet meltdown.

“I’m sorry WHAT???” tweeted one confused fan.

“Didn’t he JUST get caught making out with Khleopatre? While dating KYLIE JENNER? Did I black out for a month?”

You’re not alone.

The math ain’t mathing.

Especially since just last week, Jaden was spotted leaving a “healing dinner” with Kylie Jenner at Nobu Malibu.

And insiders claimed the two were “reigniting the flame. ”

According to one source, Kylie was even considering making things “Instagram official” again — a terrifying concept in Kardashianland that usually requires three NDAs and a soft-launch story post featuring matching sneakers.

But apparently, while Kylie was contemplating matching couple’s skincare campaigns, Jaden was out here doing… something else entirely.

And now, we’re hearing whispers that Kylie is livid.

A “close friend” (read: her manicurist’s cousin) claims she felt “totally blindsided” by the news and told Jaden, “Don’t text me unless you’re gonna co-parent with integrity and moonstones. ”

Ouch.

And if you thought that was enough drama for one Hollywood baby announcement, just wait — Jada Pinkett Smith has entered the chat.

Allegedly, Jada is “deeply concerned” about Jaden’s decision to both re-enter a relationship with Sab and take the fast lane to Parenthood Town.

One source claims she sat Jaden down for a three-hour emotional debriefing disguised as a meditation circle.

Another says she reportedly told friends, “I support him finding himself, but I didn’t mean through fatherhood and karmic cycles with his ex.”

Meanwhile, Will Smith is said to be “cautiously optimistic” but mostly just confused, allegedly muttering “I thought we were doing entanglements, not entire families now” to himself at a recent Oscar afterparty.

As for Sab Zada? She’s been suspiciously quiet, aside from the cryptic Instagram captions and one deleted tweet that read “Growth is messy but beautiful 🌸” — which could either mean she’s glowing from love or throwing shade at yacht girls and billionaire ex-rivals.

Either way, it’s clear this whole affair has less to do with romance and more to do with the kind of soap opera plotlines even “Euphoria” writers would find too chaotic.

Of course, this entire spectacle has lit social media ablaze.

TikTok is flooded with timelines, theories, and astrology deep dives.

One viral video with 4. 2M views claims this was all foretold in Sab’s birth chart.

Another swears Jaden’s album drops align perfectly with his breakups.

There’s even a conspiracy theory that this is all one giant performance art piece designed to launch a new eco-parenting line.

(Honestly, we wouldn’t be surprised.)

And let’s not forget Khleopatre — yacht girl turned chaos queen — who’s now mysteriously posting subtweets like “You can’t build legacies on lies” and “Karma hits different when the moon’s in retrograde. ”

One follower commented, “Girl spill the yacht tea,” while another wrote, “You were never just a summer fling.

You were the main character. ”

Nobody knows exactly what went down after the Ibiza incident, but if Jaden left her on read for Sab, we expect a highly-filtered revenge photoshoot to drop any day now.

Still, some fans are cheering Jaden on.

“He’s following his truth!” one wrote.

“Fatherhood will ground his third eye. ”

Others are more skeptical, pointing out that the entire Smith family appears to be living inside an episode of Black Mirror.

One particularly savage tweet read, “Jaden’s life feels like AI wrote a soap opera using nothing but crystals and Drake lyrics. ”

So what’s next for Jaden Smith, the human kale smoothie with a heart full of poems and chaos? Will he finally settle into fatherhood and start releasing ambient lullaby albums? Will Sab Zada stay by his side or vanish once again into a cloud of influencer ambiguity? Will Kylie post a cryptic Snapchat of a single tear falling into a Birkin bag?

One thing’s for sure — nothing about this situation is normal.

Not the engagement.

Not the pregnancy.

Not the fact that Will and Jada are somehow the least dramatic characters in this entire saga.

But hey, that’s Hollywood baby.

Where one week you’re sailing the Mediterranean with a sun goddess named Khleopatre and the next, you’re picking out eco-friendly diapers with your surprise fiancée while your mom meditates disapprovingly in the background.

We’ll keep you updated as this reality show disguised as a life continues to unfold.

But for now, all we can do is wish Jaden and Sab all the best on their interdimensional journey into parenthood.

May their baby be healthy, their drama be livestreamed, and their chakras stay aligned — even when Kylie claps back with a diss track.

Stay tuned.

We sense a full moon announcement coming any day now.