i mean I see more insane people in the

TV world than I have in his world i mean

you know because I’d never lived with

anyone and I and I didn’t want to

because I didn’t know if if it was worth

it valerie Burtonelli and Eddie Van

Halen were once considered the

quintessential couple of the 1980s

embodying two major pinnacles of

American entertainment television and

rock after nearly three decades together

they separated quietly the truth behind

their split remained buried for almost

20 years until now as Valerie Burtonelli

finally reveals the reason their

marriage fell apart and it is darker

than the public ever imagined i knew the

man for 40 years i was 20 when I met him

i still loved him u Valerie Burtonelli

met Eddie Van Halen in 1980 when she was

already a familiar face on television as

Barbara Cooper in the series One Day at

a Time at the time Valerie’s career was

steady and her image was tied to the

label of Hollywood’s Good Girl Eddie Van

Halen on the other hand was the frontman

of the rock band Van Halen dominating

the charts with hits like Jump Panama

and a series of soldout world tours the

two came into each other’s lives from

opposite worlds one from familyfriendly

television the other from the wild realm

of rock music their first meeting took

place after an interview where Eddie was

immediately drawn to Valerie’s radiant

presence and smile the couple quickly

began dating and just a few months later

on April 11th 1981 they were officially

married the wedding was a private affair

in California but it still made waves in

the entertainment world due to the stark

contrast between the two at that time

Eddie had just completed the album Fair

Warning one of Van Halen’s most intense

works while Valerie continued her weekly

appearances on national television their

demanding work schedules left little

time for one another but Valerie often

accompanied Eddie on tour striving to

reconcile the chaotic rock lifestyle

with traditional married life uh it’s

like the way Elizabeth Barage would say

“Wolfie wolfie and I’m pregnant.” In

1991 they welcomed their first son Wolf

Gang Van Halen valerie once shared in an

interview that Wolf Gang’s birth was the

best thing that had ever happened to her

and also a final attempt to keep the

family together so I I I had a million

girls names but I just had Wolf Gang and

he totally fits his name she stepped

back from long-term projects prioritized

time with her son and tried to balance

the roles of mother wife and public

figure raising a child while her husband

maintained the life of a high-profile

rocker was no easy task valerie once

described this period as living two

lives under one roof eddie continued his

erratic lifestyle often missing

important family moments while Valerie

struggled alone to hold everything

together throughout the 1990s the effort

to preserve their home life persisted

valerie didn’t leave Eddie even as he

began to face serious health issues they

never publicly discussed their

difficulties and continued to appear

together at major events as a normal

family behind the scenes though their

relationship had already begun to

fracture in October 2001 Valerie and

Eddie confirmed their separation 6 years

later on December 20th 2007 their

divorce was finalized after 26 years

together they parted ways without any

public drama valerie maintained her

silence during the post-ivorce period

she continued working in television

published cookbooks and raised her son

in what she considered the most stable

environment possible eddie remained in

the shadows grappling with health

problems and a career that was no longer

at its peak at the time no one could

have predicted that nearly two decades

later it would be Valerie who would

reopen the door to the past and reveal

the true reason she could no longer

remain in that marriage the secrets

revealed in 2008 through her first

memoir Losing It she mentioned for the

first time what truly happened behind

closed doors eddie was addicted to

cocaine for most of their time together

drank daily as a habit and often

spiraled out of control valerie never

denied the love she had for her husband

but she admitted that she gradually

became someone living with the addiction

no longer a true life partner one

particularly striking detail was Eddie’s

refusal to quit smoking even after being

diagnosed with mouth cancer valerie

revealed that he had onethird of his

tongue surgically removed but still

continued to smoke and consume hard

liquor she described it as a form of

slow

self-destruction i loved his soul she

wrote but I hated his alcohol and drugs

not him the pain didn’t come only from

addiction valerie admitted to having an

affair during a fractured phase in their

marriage the reason according to her was

the prolonged feeling of abandonment i

just wanted to feel affection to be

cared for by someone she wrote in losing

it and I couldn’t find that in my own

home eddie also had affairs especially

while on tour both of them lived in

silent opposition neither speaking fully

about it but also no longer able to hold

on in the early 2000s Valerie’s mental

state collapsed she developed an eating

disorder gained weight uncontrollably

and gradually withdrew from public

appearances in a later interview with

Oprah she admitted that after the

separation she spent most of her time at

home avoiding friends and relatives

focusing solely on raising her son i

lost control inside and out it wasn’t

just the end of a marriage it was the

end of the illusion that love could save

someone in 2022 through her second

memoir Enough Already Valerie expanded

her perspective by then she had regained

clarity after years of therapy and

sobriety what she wrote no longer

carried a defensive tone but full

acceptance she called the marriage with

Eddie beautiful but ravaged saying they

came together too young too unprepared

and without the tools to handle fame

addiction and isolation she also

admitted that she tried to play the role

of a strong wife but it was only a

facade to avoid being judged in tweeting

24 after watching the behind the music

documentary by Wolf Gang Van Halen their

son Valerie posted a video that drew

widespread attention on Instagram in it

she clearly stated for the first time

that Eddie was not her soulmate as she

once believed i was in love with an

idealized version of him i was ready to

play the grieving widow but the truth is

we hadn’t been a couple for 20 years she

added watching my son’s pain made me

realize that staying silent is no longer

the right choice her statement sparked

public debate some praised Valerie for

her courage to speak the truth

especially as addiction remains taboo in

the entertainment world others argued

that revisiting the past of someone who

has passed away could tarnish the

legendary image Eddie left behind

valerie didn’t push back instead she

emphasized “I’m not sharing this to

diminish anyone i’m sharing it so people

like me don’t have to stay silent.” In

doing so she turned her story from a

high-profile divorce into a testimony

for those who have lived in the shadows

of damaging relationships still one

aspect that can easily be misunderstood

is that her account might lead the

public to believe there was no harmony

in their marriage when in reality they

maintained a connection even after

everything had ended an unbreakable bond

although the marriage between Valerie

Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen

officially ended in 2007 they remained

in contact and maintained a certain

level of respect particularly for their

son Wolf Gang whom both considered the

center of their lives there were no

lawsuits after the divorce no public

disputes over property their

relationship quietly continued in a

different form no longer husband and

wife but never truly aranged at Wolf

Gang’s major events Valerie and Eddie

still appeared together fulfilling their

roles as parents wolf Gang joined Van

Halen as the basist in 2006 replacing

Michael Anthony the decision sparked

debate among fans but both Eddie and

Valerie gave their full support valerie

once shared “Even though we’re no longer

a traditional family we’re still a team

for Wolfie.” When Eddie began battling

severe complications from throat cancer

in 2019 Valerie was among those

frequently visiting the hospital

alongside Wolf Gang Eddie’s final days

were quiet without media presence

surrounded only by family and closest

friends valerie was at his bedside when

he took his last breath on October 6th

2020 in a message posted to Instagram

that same day she wrote “35 years ago my

life changed forever when I met you and

today I’m grateful I got to be with you

in your final moment.” What stood out

was the way Valerie expressed her

emotions after Eddie’s passing though

she had not been his legal wife for over

a decade she still referred to herself

as someone in mourning the way she wrote

and spoke about Eddie conveyed a grief

not just for a lost love but for a part

of her past that had now permanently

closed numerous media outlets

acknowledged the sincerity in the way

she commemorated Eddie in her 2022

memoir Enough Already Valerie described

Eddie’s final days as full of sorrow but

also peaceful she recalled that the two

exchanged words of love one last time i

think he knew I forgave him i also hope

he forgave me it was the first time she

made it clear that although they could

not live together a form of love still

remained between them no longer romantic

but never completely faded still the

closeness she showed after Eddie’s death

also drew mixed reactions from the

public some accused her of trying to

step back into the spotlight using the

image of her late ex-husband a legendary

musician the criticism grew louder after

her 2024 video in which Valerie asserted

that Eddie was not my soulmate and that

they hadn’t really been a couple in 20

years in response to this Valerie did

not publicly defend herself she simply

posted a short message on social media

there are things I stayed silent about

for too long not out of fear of public

opinion but because I wasn’t sure I

fully understood them myself now I just

want to speak the truth as part of my

healing valerie’s approach was not one

of melancholic remembrance she did not

portray herself as a grieving widow

instead she chose to honor Eddie through

the most honest lens as a great artist a

devoted father and a man who fought his

own demons wolf Gang has also mentioned

on several occasions that his mother

always encouraged him to see both the

strengths and the flaws of his father so

he could rise above them not replicate

them after Eddie Van Halen’s passing

Valerie Burtonelli entered a critical

period of transition while the public

often referred to her as the former wife

of a rock legend Valerie continued

living her own life facing new

challenges in her personal relationships

new paths after a marriage one of those

paths was her second marriage to Tom

Vitali a financial planner she once

believed would mark a hopeful new

beginning valerie and Tom Vitali married

on January 1st 2011 after years of

dating the wedding took place in Malibu

with Eddie and Wolf Gang in attendance

at the time the media described it as a

rare example of a modern family in the

entertainment industry valerie believed

that things would be different this time

she took lessons from her previous

marriage and aimed to build a

relationship on a more mature foundation

but over the years differences in

lifestyle and personal values began to

surface by the end of 2021 Valerie filed

for legal separation citing

irreconcilable differences in an

Instagram post she wrote “I used to

believe that if I loved enough

everything could be fixed but that’s not

how it works i gave too much in both

marriages and I realized I was never

loved back the way I hoped to be.” After

the divorce Valerie didn’t immediately

return to work or public appearances

during 2022 2023 she spent most of her

time writing the memoir Enough Already

adjusting her daily routine and focusing

on therapy it was also during this

period that she announced she had

stopped drinking committing to sobriety

for the sake of her mental health in

later interviews she admitted to living

in a prolonged state of anxiety and

learning how to say no to things that

drained her in March 2024 Valerie went

public with a new relationship with

writer Mike Goodnoff they met through

social media bonded over pop culture and

writing and gradually grew close the

couple appeared together at the Daytime

Emmy Awards in June drawing attention as

it was the first time in years Valerie

publicly introduced a new partner fans

embraced the relationship seeing it as a

sign of healing and moving forward

however by November 2024 Valerie

confirmed their breakup in an Instagram

post she didn’t go into detail but

mentioned that the reason stemmed from

external factors rather than a lack of

affection mike later also spoke up

stating that the relationship with

Valerie had been the best part of his

year and that he respected the mutual

decision to part ways by March

2025 Valerie addressed the reasons more

clearly i’ve been in two marriages where

I tried too hard hoping to be loved

unconditionally eventually I realized

that loving others can’t be a way to

fill the emptiness within myself this

statement received widespread support

especially from middle-aged women who

related to her journey of recovery after

divorce outside of her romantic life

Valerie also faced challenges with

mental health in November 2024 she

publicly shared her experience with a

severe anxiety episode that forced her

to pause work for several weeks without

masking it or skirting around the

truth,” she said plainly “i used to be

afraid of admitting I was tired but the

truth is I can’t keep pretending to be

okay.” Afterward she actively joined

mental health advocacy efforts becoming

one of the few candid and honest voices

in the entertainment industry on this

subject no longer portraying the ideal

TV star or the perfect wife Valerie

chose instead to represent herself as

she truly was a woman who had endured

enough to understand that living

authentically matters more than

preserving appearances though she had

loved been disappointed and attempted to

start over multiple times she didn’t

hide her failures instead she embraced

them as part of her journey she said

“Rather than finding someone to make me

happy I’m learning to take

responsibility for my own emotions and

that is a choice completely different

from what she had made in either of her

previous marriages now at 65 Valerie

Burtonelli no longer shows up with the

labels of Eddie Van Halen’s ex-wife or

1980s TV star she has stepped away from

old definitions presenting herself as a

woman living truthfully and on her own

terms life after the spotlight at the

end of 2023 Valerie’s home cooking

concluded after eight seasons on air

around the same time she stepped down

from her role on Kids Baking

Championship a decision that Valerie

described as difficult to accept but

necessary in an interview with E online

she admitted that being removed from the

show deeply hurt her especially after

being part of it for nearly a decade

rather than respond with bitterness she

accepted it as a natural part of change

in September 2024 Valerie returned to

television as a lifestyle contributor on

the Drew Barrymore Show this time she

was neither a chef nor the lead in a

talk show instead she spoke about

healthy habits managing stress staying

grounded and most importantly learning

how to talk to oneself most of the

topics centered on what Valerie called

postivorce emotional wellness a

relatively unfamiliar concept that was

increasingly resonating with middle-aged

viewers on social media Valerie also

shifted focus from a feed once filled

with professional updates her Instagram

evolved into a personal space where she

shared honest reflections on anxiety

emotional recovery and even days when

she couldn’t get out of bed in November

2024 she posted a video documenting a

panic attack with the caption “I’m

sharing this because I know I’m not the

only one going through it.” The raw

sincerity struck a chord garnering

millions of views and tens of thousands

of grateful comments her relationship

with her son Wolf Gang remains a key

anchor they frequently appear together

during special occasions in early 2025

Valerie made a surprise appearance at

one of Wolf Gang’s concerts offered a

brief message and stepped off stage she

joked “I’ll never join my son’s band but

I’m his number one fan.” Their bond

close and non-intrusive is what Valerie

calls the clearest accomplishment of my

life on April 23rd 2025 on her 65th

birthday she posted “I’ve been through

enough to know the light at the end of

the tunnel doesn’t come from someone

else it appears when you stop and turn

toward yourself.” A simple sentence it

reveals a completely new Valerie no

longer striving to please no longer

chasing what’s out of reach valerie

hasn’t announced retirement but she’s

made no plans for a regular return to

television at this stage Valerie

Burtonelli no longer needs anyone’s

validation for what she has endured she

just needs to know she’s no longer

acting and to her that is enough valerie

Burtonelli’s story isn’t just about

divorce it’s a journey of breaking free

from expectations from roles and from

the illusions once tied to love looking

back at the journey of Eddie Van Halen

and Valerie Burtonelli they were once

considered one of the most influential

couples of the 1980s in American pop

culture eddie as the lead guitarist of

Van Halen was hailed by industry experts

as a revolutionary force in modern rock

music he was inducted into the Rock and

Roll Hall of Fame in 2007 with the band

and was regularly listed among the top

names on greatest guitarists of all time

rankings his signature tapping style

left a lasting impact on generations of

musicians valerie Burtonelli meanwhile

built a long-standing name in television

through her role in One Day at a Time

earning two Golden Globe Awards she

later transitioned into food television

winning two Emmys for Valerie’s Home

Cooking while her career didn’t spark

the same global sensation as Eddie’s

Valerie maintained a steady scandal-free

presence and earned the trust of

multiple generations of TV audiences

they’re pairing one a music icon the

other a beloved television figure was

once dubbed by Entertainment Weekly as

an iconic marriage of American rock and

TV even though the relationship didn’t

last their legacies endure eddie is

remembered as a music legend while

Valerie has become a symbol of

resilience and authenticity in

entertainment each in their own way left

an irreplaceable imprint in their field

one reshaped rock music the other

exemplified the perseverance of women in

television Eddie Van Halen and Valerie

Burtonelli though their marriage didn’t

last each left behind a distinct and

memorable legacy do you view their

relationship as a lesson in sacrifice or

a reflection of love’s limits under

pressure and after everything what part

of their story stays with you the most

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