Aubrey Plaza’s Heartbreaking Confession: How the Suicide of Her Husband Jeff Baena Turned Her Life Into ‘A Daily Struggle’ and Why Grief Feels Like a Monster-Filled Gorge

In a rare and deeply vulnerable interview, actress Aubrey Plaza has spoken publicly for the first time about the death of her husband, filmmaker Jeff Baena, who died by suicide in January 2025.

In a candid conversation with longtime friend and former Parks and Recreation co-star Amy Poehler, Plaza opened up about the complexity of grief, describing it as “a giant ocean of awfulness” that never truly goes away.

Baena, the acclaimed writer and director behind cult favorites such as Life After Beth and The Little Hours, died at his Los Angeles home on January 3 at the age of 47.

His death shocked colleagues and fans alike, not only because of his creative contributions to independent cinema but also because of his decade-long relationship with Plaza, with whom he frequently collaborated on projects.

Speaking on Poehler’s Good Hang podcast, Plaza tried to put into words what life has been like in the months since her husband’s passing.

Her reflections were haunting, heartbreaking, and deeply resonant.

“A Daily Struggle, Obviously”

When Poehler asked her how she was coping, acknowledging what she called “a terrible, terrible, tragic year,” Plaza responded with raw honesty.

“Right in this very, very present moment, I feel happy to be with you,” she said.

“Overall, I’m here and I’m functioning.

I feel really grateful to be moving through the world.

I think I’m OK, but it’s like a daily struggle, obviously.”

The actress, known for her sardonic humor and often aloof public persona, shed the veneer of deadpan wit.

Instead, she revealed herself as a widow still learning how to navigate life without her partner.

The Gorge as a Metaphor for Grief

Plaza explained that she had found an unusual analogy for her experience of mourning in the 2025 Apple sci-fi thriller The Gorge.

The film, starring Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy, follows two operatives who must fight off monsters lurking within a chasm.

“It’s like an alien movie with Miles Teller,” Plaza said.

“In the movie, there’s a cliff on one side and a cliff on the other side and there’s a gorge in between, and it’s filled with all these monster people that are trying to get them.

I swear when I watched it, I was like, ‘That’s what this feels like, what my grief is like — or what grief could be like.’”

She continued with words that resonated deeply with listeners:

“At all times there’s like a giant ocean of awfulness that’s like right there, and I can see it.

And sometimes, I just want to dive into it and be in it.

And then sometimes, I just look at it.

And then sometimes, I’m just trying to get away from it.

But it’s always there.It’s just always there.

And the monster people are trying to get me like Miles Teller.”

The vivid imagery captured what countless grief experts have long said: mourning is not linear.

It doesn’t fade neatly with time.

Instead, it remains a looming presence, sometimes manageable and sometimes overwhelming.

A Creative Partnership and a Secret Marriage

Plaza and Baena first met in 2011, and their relationship blossomed both personally and professionally.

While they kept their private life relatively quiet, they worked together on several of Baena’s films.

Plaza starred in Life After Beth (2014), The Little Hours (2017), and Spin Me Round (2022), all directed by Baena, with her unique blend of intensity and deadpan humor perfectly suited to his “enjoyably twisted” sensibilities, as one critic put it.

Fans only discovered that the pair had married when Plaza referred to him as her “darling husband” in an Instagram post in May 2021.

The revelation surprised many, as the couple had managed to keep their wedding completely out of the public eye — a rare feat in Hollywood.

Reflecting on their collaboration during a 2020 interview, Plaza said:

“My partner’s a filmmaker, and we’ve made movies together.

We’ve had really good experiences and really bad experiences, and I think I learned going through those things that ultimately, you know, movies come and go.

Movies — it’s what our lives are built off of.

But when you’re about to die, you don’t think about the movies.

You think about the people in your life and your relationships.”

Her words, which at the time seemed philosophical, now carry a devastating weight.

Jeff Baena’s Career and Legacy

Though Baena often worked outside the Hollywood mainstream, his influence in the independent film world was significant.

His debut as a writer came with co-writing credit on David O. Russell’s I Heart Huckabees (2004), a surreal comedy that quickly gained a cult following.

He went on to direct Life After Beth, a zombie comedy starring Plaza, Dane DeHaan, and John C. Reilly.

The film established him as a director with a taste for dark humor and unconventional storytelling.

His medieval convent farce The Little Hours — featuring Plaza, Alison Brie, Kate Micucci, and Dave Franco — became a breakout indie hit in 2017, praised for its raunchy humor and subversive take on Boccaccio’s The Decameron.

Later, he co-wrote and directed Horse Girl (2020) with Alison Brie, a surreal psychological drama about mental illness, and Spin Me Round (2022), a strange blend of corporate satire and romance.

Film critic Ryan Gilbey of The Guardian, in his obituary for Baena, praised his films as “enjoyably twisted, marked by a mischievous tone that pushed the boundaries of comedy while never losing sight of human vulnerability.”

His unique voice in cinema will now stand as a reminder of the work he could have continued to create.

The Weight of Suicide and Public Grief

The circumstances of Baena’s death have also prompted a renewed conversation about suicide, mental health, and the hidden struggles faced by even those who appear to be thriving.

At the time of his death, a joint statement from Plaza and Baena’s family described the event as “an unimaginable tragedy.” Friends and colleagues in Hollywood responded with an outpouring of grief and tributes.

Many spoke of Baena as kind, thoughtful, and brilliant, making his death all the more shocking.

For Plaza, navigating public grief is particularly difficult.

Unlike private citizens, celebrities face the added weight of public scrutiny, media speculation, and the expectation that they continue their professional careers despite personal devastation.

Public Reactions to Plaza’s Interview

Plaza’s decision to speak about her grief so openly struck a chord with fans and listeners of Poehler’s podcast.

Many took to social media to express their support and gratitude.

One listener wrote:

“The beautiful vulnerability that Aubrey shows at the beginning of this podcast is incredible.

At a time when everyone posts only the highlights of their life, it’s so vulnerable to even just show up.”

Another added:

“Hearing Aubrey talk about her grief honestly helps me with mine.

It makes me feel less alone.

I’m sending so much love and healing to her and to anyone else facing what she called the ‘Grief Gorge.’”

Her metaphor of a gorge filled with monsters quickly spread online, with many saying it perfectly captured the relentless presence of loss.

Plaza’s Career Amid Grief

Despite her personal tragedy, Plaza has continued to work, perhaps finding solace in her craft.

In recent years, her career has been on an extraordinary trajectory.

After her breakout as April Ludgate in Parks and Recreation, she went on to star in acclaimed films such as Ingrid Goes West (2017), where she played an obsessive social media stalker, and Emily the Criminal (2022), a gritty crime drama that earned her critical acclaim.

She also garnered widespread praise for her role in HBO’s The White Lotus Season 2, which showcased her dramatic range.

Looking ahead, she will star in Ethan Coen’s upcoming comedy Honey Don’t!

Yet even as her professional life flourishes, Plaza has acknowledged that nothing can fully shield her from grief’s shadow.

The Broader Cultural Importance of Her Words

Plaza’s honesty matters because it helps dismantle long-standing taboos about grief and suicide.

In Western culture, grief is often expected to be private, brief, and silent.

By speaking publicly, Plaza reminds people that mourning is messy, unpredictable, and deeply human.

Her words echo those of other public figures who have dared to confront grief openly.

Stephen Colbert has spoken movingly about losing his father and brothers in a plane crash.

Meghan Markle wrote candidly about her miscarriage.

Each of these testimonies has helped normalize grief as a shared human experience rather than something to be hidden.

International Support and Helplines

The article’s publication also underscored the importance of suicide prevention resources.

In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted at 116 123, or via email at [email protected].

In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available at 988, or through chat at 988lifeline.org.

In Australia, Lifeline can be reached at 13 11 14.

Global helplines are listed at befrienders.org.

These services are reminders that no one should face the “gorge” of grief or despair alone.

Conclusion: Learning to Live Beside the Gorge

Aubrey Plaza’s words are not just about her own journey.

They are a mirror for countless others walking through grief, searching for a language to express the inexpressible.

By likening her loss to The Gorge — a place filled with monsters, always looming, sometimes unbearable — Plaza has given shape to what so many feel but cannot say.

Her daily struggle is not about “moving on,” but about learning to live beside the gorge, to resist its monsters, and to honor the memory of the person she loved.

In doing so, she has transformed personal tragedy into something communal, offering a reminder that grief is both deeply individual and universally human.

As fans continue to share their love and support, Plaza’s honesty ensures that her husband’s memory — and the reality of her loss — will not be swallowed by silence.