Aubrey Plaza Opens Up About Husband Jeff Baena’s Tragic Death — And Why Grief Feels Like Falling Into “The Gorge”

“At all times, there’s like a giant ocean of just awfulness that’s right there, and I can see it. And sometimes, I just want to dive into it, and just … be in it. And then sometimes, I just look at it. And then sometimes, I try to get away from it. But it’s always there.”

In a moment of raw honesty rarely seen in Hollywood, actress Aubrey Plaza has spoken publicly about the heartbreaking loss of her husband, filmmaker Jeff Baena, who died by suicide earlier this year.

Speaking with longtime friend and former Parks and Recreation co-star Amy Poehler on the latest episode of the Good Hang podcast, Plaza described grief not as a neat process or a tidy emotional journey, but rather as something terrifying, chaotic, and deeply consuming — much like the central metaphor in the recent sci-fi romance film The Gorge.

Baena, a respected screenwriter and director known for films like Life After Beth (2014) and Horse Girl (2020), passed away on January 3, 2025, at the age of 47.

His death sent shockwaves through Hollywood, not only because of his creative talent but also because of his long and loving relationship with Plaza, with whom he collaborated on multiple projects.

Now, for the first time since his passing, Plaza is allowing fans a glimpse into her grieving process — and the words she used were as evocative and haunting as the grief itself.

“Grief Is Like a Gorge”

Plaza explained that while searching for ways to articulate the overwhelming feeling of loss, she found herself drawn to a cinematic metaphor.

Watching The Gorge, a 2025 film starring Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy, she was struck by how the imagery mirrored her own emotional reality.

“In the movie, there’s like a cliff on one side, and there’s a cliff on the other side, and then this gorge in between, and it’s filled with all these monster people that are trying to get them,” Plaza recalled.

“I swear, when I watched it, I was like, That feels like what my grief is like … or what grief could be like.”

She went further, explaining the cyclical, almost uncontrollable nature of mourning:

“At all times, there’s like a giant ocean of just awfulness that’s right there, and I can see it.

And sometimes, I just want to dive into it, and just … be in it.

And then sometimes, I just look at it.

And then sometimes, I try to get away from it.

But it’s always there.”

This raw description struck a chord with listeners.

Many who have faced loss themselves took to social media, calling her metaphor one of the most accurate depictions of grief they had ever heard.

Amy Poehler’s Gentle Question

The conversation began when Amy Poehler, who worked closely with Plaza on Parks and Recreation from 2009 to 2015, broached the subject with care and compassion.

“You had this terrible, terrible, tragic year,” Poehler said softly.

“You lost your husband.

You’ve been dealing with that, and you’ve been looking for all different ways in which to feel and find support.

I think, on behalf of all the people who feel like they know you, and the people who do know you, how are you feeling today?”

Plaza paused before answering, admitting that while she is functioning and grateful for the love around her, grief is something she battles daily.

“In this present moment, I feel happy to be here with you,” Plaza told Poehler.

“I feel really grateful to be moving through the world.

I think I’m OK, but you know, it’s like a daily struggle, obviously.”

Her candidness was striking.

In an industry where celebrities often hide behind polished press statements or avoid discussing painful personal subjects altogether, Plaza chose honesty.

A Relationship Rooted in Art and Love

Aubrey Plaza and Jeff Baena’s love story was unusual by Hollywood standards — grounded not in red carpet spectacle but in quiet collaboration.

The pair began dating in 2011, and fans only discovered that they had secretly married a decade later, when Plaza casually referred to him as her “darling husband” in a 2021 Instagram post.

Their relationship was deeply entwined with their creative lives.

Baena, who wrote and directed, often cast Plaza in his films.

The two worked together on multiple projects, including Life After Beth, The Little Hours (2017), and Spin Me Round (2022).

While some warned against the challenges of mixing business with personal relationships, Plaza often spoke openly about the unique connection it gave them.

In a 2020 interview, she reflected on the ups and downs of working alongside a partner:

“My partner’s a filmmaker, and we’ve made movies together.

We’ve had really good experiences and really bad experiences, and I think I learned going through those things that ultimately, you know, movies come and go.

Movies — it’s what our lives are built off of.

But when you’re about to die, you don’t think about the movies.

You think about the people in your life and your relationships.”

Those words now ring painfully prophetic.

@etalkctv

Aubrey Plaza is opening up about grief after the death of her husband, filmmaker Jeff Baena, who died by suicide earlier this year at age 47. On the latest episode of ‘Good Hang with Amy Poehler,’ Plaza used a striking metaphor inspired by the 2025 film ‘The Gorge,’ describing grief as standing between two cliffs with a “giant ocean of awfulness” always present.  “Sometimes I just want to dive into it, and just like be in it. Then sometimes I just look at it, and sometimes I try to get away from it. But it’s always there.” (📹:YouTube/Good Hang with Amy Poehler) #AubreyPlaza #JeffBaena #AmyPoehler #GoodHangwithAmyPoehler #Grief

♬ original sound – etalk

Fans Rally Behind Her

Following the release of the Good Hang podcast episode, social media platforms such as TikTok, Instagram, and X (formerly Twitter) lit up with messages of support for Plaza.

Many fans, some grieving their own losses, expressed gratitude for her vulnerability.

One listener commented on YouTube:

“The beautiful vulnerability that Aubrey shows at the beginning of this podcast is incredible.

At a time when everyone posts only the highlights of their life, it’s so vulnerable to even just show up.”

Another added:

“This was a beautiful, kind, and loving interview.

Discussions of grief honestly help me in mine; I’m sending so much love and healing to Aubrey and anyone else facing the Grief Gorge.”

It’s not the first time Plaza’s unfiltered personality has won her admiration.

Known for her deadpan humor and sharp wit, she has built a career out of balancing comedy with darker, more nuanced roles.

But here, audiences were introduced to a different side of her — one marked not by sarcasm, but by sincerity.

The Broader Conversation About Grief

Plaza’s honesty contributes to a much-needed broader cultural conversation about mental health and grief.

In recent years, more celebrities have come forward to speak openly about loss, depression, and resilience.

From Meghan Markle’s essay on miscarriage to Stephen Colbert’s moving reflections on losing his father and brothers in a plane crash, these testimonies help destigmatize grief in the public eye.

Mental health advocates note that when public figures speak out, it can have a ripple effect.

Grief is often treated as something private, even shameful, but hearing someone like Plaza describe it as an ever-present “gorge” validates the experiences of millions of ordinary people silently coping with their own pain.

Jeff Baena’s Legacy

While much of the attention has been on Plaza’s grief, it’s important not to forget Baena’s lasting impact.

A quiet but inventive filmmaker, Baena’s work often explored existential themes wrapped in quirky humor.

His films, though never blockbusters, earned him a cult following and respect within indie circles.

The Little Hours, a medieval comedy featuring Plaza, Alison Brie, and Dave Franco, remains a fan favorite for its irreverent humor.

Horse Girl, co-written with Alison Brie, tackled mental illness with a surreal edge.

And Spin Me Round, his last film before his death, was described by critics as a bizarre blend of satire, romance, and absurdity.

His creative voice may have been understated compared to Hollywood’s louder auteurs, but those who worked with him often described him as deeply intelligent, empathetic, and collaborative.

Moving Forward Without Moving On

For Plaza, the road ahead is uncertain.

Like anyone grappling with loss, she knows there is no “moving on,” only moving forward.

She admitted to Poehler that some days are better than others, and while she is functioning, the weight of grief is something she will carry always.

Yet, her willingness to speak about it openly suggests a resilience that may, in time, transform her pain into something meaningful for herself and others.

Why Her Words Matter

The entertainment industry is often accused of glamorizing life while hiding its harsher realities.

By openly discussing the rawness of grief, Plaza cuts through the glossy surface and reminds audiences that behind every polished photo and perfectly styled red carpet moment, there are real human struggles.

Her metaphor of The Gorge will likely endure as one of the most poignant celebrity descriptions of grief in recent memory — vivid, relatable, and painfully true.

Conclusion

Aubrey Plaza’s reflections on Jeff Baena’s death mark not only a personal turning point but also a cultural one.

Her honesty is an invitation for others to face their grief without shame, to acknowledge that pain exists alongside joy, and that healing is less about climbing out of the gorge and more about learning to live near its edge.

As fans continue to rally behind her, one thing is certain: Plaza’s vulnerability has given her audience something far deeper than comedy or performance.

It has given them solidarity in sorrow — a reminder that grief, like love, is universal.

In her own words, it is “always there.” But by speaking it aloud, Plaza ensures that no one has to stand at the edge of the gorge alone.