QB CRISIS! Browns Urged to DUMP Kenny Pickett – Is This the End Already?!

Ladies and gentlemen, grab your foam fingers, pour yourself a Cleveland-sized whiskey, and buckle your seatbelts, because the internet has decided it is officially time for the Cleveland Browns to TRADE Kenny Pickett, and if you’re confused about how he even ended up in Cleveland in the first place, don’t worry—you’re not alone.

The world barely survived the soap opera of Baker Mayfield, the existential dread of Johnny Manziel, and the emotional rollercoaster that was Deshaun Watson’s contract circus, and yet somehow, here we are again, staring down the barrel of another quarterback drama like a bad Netflix reboot.

According to the fiery chatterstorm that erupted during BPM Live #69 (yes, a podcast episode number that somehow matches the Browns’ sense of humor about misery), the Browns’ “faithful” have apparently decided Kenny Pickett is already ready for the trade block, despite the fact that he’s barely had time to unpack his luggage, learn the playbook, or find the best pierogi spot in Cleveland.

Let’s be clear here: the Browns’ fanbase asking to trade a quarterback is like your uncle asking for another beer at Thanksgiving.

It’s not shocking.

It’s tradition.

It’s heritage.

It’s practically in the city charter at this point.

But the speed at which this Pickett situation escalated? Unmatched.

Browns fans have gone from cautiously optimistic to screaming for a fire sale in record time, and somewhere out there, Tim Couch is shaking his head with the kind of knowing sadness only a man sacked 56 times in one season can understand.

“Trading Kenny Pickett now would be bold, visionary, and also completely insane,” said our fake NFL insider Dr.

Phil Quarterbackson, a self-proclaimed “QB therapist” who insists he’s been analyzing Cleveland’s quarterback trauma since the dawn of the Brady Quinn era.

“The Browns don’t just need stability.

They crave chaos.

This isn’t about wins or losses anymore.

It’s about drama, tweets, and content.

Trading Pickett would give them that in spades. ”

And you know what? He’s right.

To understand this whole debacle, we need to rewind the tape.

Pickett, once Pittsburgh’s golden boy, got shipped off to Cleveland in a deal that felt more like a prank gone wrong than an actual roster move.

The city of Pittsburgh roasted him endlessly, with memes showing him driving a moving truck across state lines while Mike Tomlin waved goodbye like a disappointed dad.

Cleveland, ever the optimist in the way only someone who has suffered decades of disappointment can be, embraced him with open arms, convinced this time would be different.

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

By Week 2 of the preseason, Browns fans were already comparing him to every failed experiment in their cursed quarterback lineage.

Some said he had the footwork of Brandon Weeden, the decision-making of Johnny Manziel, and the haircut of Colt McCoy.

“I thought he was gonna be a star,” tweeted one heartbroken fan, “but turns out he just throws spirals directly to linebackers with too much confidence.”

Naturally, BPM Live #69 did what sports podcasts do best: pour gasoline on the fire.

One of the hosts dramatically shouted, “It’s time to TRADE him! He’s not the guy! We need someone NEW!” and within minutes, Browns Twitter went full apocalypse mode.

Memes, trade-machine screenshots, and fan-made “goodbye Kenny” highlight reels started flooding timelines faster than you can say “Dawg Pound meltdown. ”

One fan even suggested a straight-up swap of Pickett for Taylor Swift’s boyfriend Travis Kelce, insisting Kelce would bring “more star power and better completion percentage. ”

Honestly, they might not be wrong.

The fake experts we interviewed for this piece couldn’t agree more.

“The Browns should trade Kenny Pickett immediately, preferably to Mars,” said one anonymous scout, who swore he once saw Pickett overthrow a receiver by 15 yards during warmups.

Another claimed, “He’s got small hands and big problems, and Cleveland can’t afford both. ”

Ouch.

But let’s not act like this is just about Pickett.

This is about Cleveland itself, a city cursed with the most tortured quarterback carousel in professional sports history.

If the NFL had a Guinness World Record category for “Most Players Tried at QB in a Single Century,” the Browns would win in a landslide.

And every time they think they’ve found “the one,” something goes horribly wrong.

Either the guy gets injured, suspended, develops a crippling interception addiction, or simply decides he hates snow.

Pickett? He might be on track for the trifecta.

In true Browns fashion, though, fans have already begun fantasy-booking his replacement.

Some dream of Tom Brady un-retiring for the 87th time and riding into Cleveland like a football messiah.

Others fantasize about Caleb Williams demanding a trade before he even finishes his rookie season with the Bears.

And then, of course, there are those whispering the name “Johnny Football comeback tour,” because apparently, Cleveland hasn’t been through enough therapy yet.

Meanwhile, Pickett himself has said nothing publicly about the calls for his exile.

Spotted leaving practice looking like a man who just realized Cleveland winters last seven months, he politely ignored reporters’ questions and climbed into his car—a vehicle that, sources say, has already been keyed by one passionate fan who simply carved the words “TRADE ME” across the driver’s side.

Whether it was a message to Pickett or a personal cry for help remains unclear.

The Browns organization, of course, remains silent.

GM Andrew Berry reportedly laughed so hard when asked about trading Pickett that he spilled his coffee, while head coach Kevin Stefanski gave his signature “everything’s fine” shrug, the same one he’s perfected after every quarterback catastrophe since 2020.

“We like our guy,” Stefanski muttered, which is exactly what he said about Deshaun Watson before his shoulder turned into wet cardboard.

Fans didn’t buy it then, and they’re not buying it now.

Here’s the thing though—what if this chaos is actually the Browns’ grand plan? What if they deliberately collect quarterbacks just to cause national drama, knowing full well their fanbase thrives on pain? “It’s genius,” claimed fake analyst Skip Bailsoni, sipping a martini during our exclusive non-existent interview.

“Cleveland doesn’t need a Super Bowl.

They need content.

And Kenny Pickett is the gift that keeps on giving. ”

At this point, whether or not Pickett gets traded might not even matter.

The damage is done.

He’s already the subject of heated bar debates, angry podcast rants, and unhinged YouTube conspiracy videos titled things like “Kenny Pickett Was a Browns Plant All Along. ”

One Reddit user even theorized the Steelers traded him to Cleveland as a form of long-term sabotage, a reverse Trojan Horse designed to implode the Browns from within.

Tell me that doesn’t sound exactly like something the Steelers would do.

If history has taught us anything, it’s that Browns quarterback drama never ends quietly.

Pickett will either be traded mid-season in a blockbuster move that shocks nobody but still dominates ESPN for a week, or he’ll stay in Cleveland just long enough to deliver one glorious upset win over Pittsburgh before throwing 12 interceptions in December and becoming the latest name on the Browns’ infamous QB jersey—a jersey that at this point needs an extension cord just to fit all the names.

So buckle up, Dawg Pound.

Whether Kenny Pickett stays or goes, the circus is alive and well in Cleveland.

The chants for his departure will only get louder, the memes will only get crueler, and by Week 5, half the fanbase will be calling for Dorian Thompson-Robinson to take the reins again.

Because in Cleveland, the quarterback isn’t just a position—it’s a curse.

And Kenny Pickett might just be the next unlucky soul to carry it.

In the meantime, one thing is for sure: BPM Live #69 will go down as the podcast episode that lit the fuse, proving once again that in Cleveland, quarterback controversies aren’t just news—they’re a way of life.

And if Kenny Pickett thought leaving Pittsburgh was going to give him a fresh start, he clearly didn’t Google “Browns QB history” before signing that lease.