“Counted Out AGAIN?! Mahomes Set to Make Haters Eat Their Words—Because Kings Don’t Stay Down!”

Stop the presses, hide your fantasy league trophies, and please, somebody get Tom Brady a therapy appointment.

Patrick Mahomes, quarterback, commercial spokesman, sneaker ambassador, ketchup enthusiast, and now self-proclaimed King of the Gridiron, has officially decided that the NFL is not just a league — it’s his monarchy.

Yes, Raider fans, Chiefs haters, and angry Bengals Twitter accounts, the crown emoji is real, and so is the royal decree: as long as No. 15 is under center, Kansas City is no longer just a football team — it’s a full-blown kingdom.

In a post that read less like motivation and more like a rejected Game of Thrones script, Mahomes (or possibly his PR intern with access to too much medieval clip art) declared: “They can doubt.

They can hope for our fall.

But they forget one thing… kings don’t stay down for long.

He’s been counted out before, and every single time, he’s risen higher than the world thought possible.

The fire in his eyes says it all — the story isn’t over.

Not even close.

This Kingdom was built on faith, resilience, and heart.

And as long as 15 is under center, we will never stop believing.

Because legends don’t fade… they rise again. ”

Translation: “I’m inevitable.

Resistance is futile.

Patrick Mahomes is Thanos with better hair. ”

And just like that, Chiefs Kingdom went from “decently cocky fan base” to “full cult status. ”

Local Kansas City tattoo shops reported a 600% spike in people asking for crown tattoos, some featuring Mahomes’ hair, others just with the number 15 etched on their chest like a medieval family crest.

A barbecue restaurant owner in Missouri told reporters, “Honestly, if Patrick asked me to rename brisket ‘Mahomes Meat,’ I’d do it.

He’s the king.

Who am I to say no?”

Of course, this whole “King Patrick” storyline isn’t just for fans.

According to fake sources we absolutely did not invent, Mahomes has allegedly been spotted at practice demanding teammates address him as “Your Highness. ”

When Travis Kelce slipped and accidentally said, “Pat,” Mahomes reportedly sent him to the metaphorical dungeon — which in Chiefs language means he had to run sprints until Taylor Swift wrote a breakup song about him.

And if you thought this post was just hype, think again.

Apparently, the Chiefs marketing team is going all in on the royalty gimmick.

Word on the street says they’re considering red velvet capes instead of jerseys for warm-ups, an actual marching band with trumpets to play him onto the field, and a halftime segment where Mahomes is knighted by Andy Reid using a barbecue rib as a sword.

Not everyone is buying into the coronation, though.

Rival fans have wasted no time dragging the King online.

One salty Raiders fan commented, “The only Kingdom he rules over is the one where quarterbacks throw picks in overtime.

” A Buffalo Bills fan added, “Legends don’t fade? Bro, you almost lost to a team coached by Sean Payton.

” Even Joe Burrow’s fan base chimed in, posting memes of Burrow sitting on the Iron Throne while Mahomes polishes his crown in the corner.

But Chiefs fans aren’t budging.

To them, Mahomes isn’t just a quarterback — he’s basically Elvis, Michael Jordan, and Simba from The Lion King rolled into one.

Some have gone as far as to start calling Arrowhead Stadium “The Royal Dome,” while one fan confessed to selling his car so he could buy season tickets and “kneel at the throne. ”

And let’s talk about that throne.

Fake “NFL insiders” leaked that Mahomes is actually considering installing a literal throne on the sideline.

Why sit on a boring bench when you can sit on a 24-karat gold chair embroidered with the words ‘Legends Don’t Fade’? Even more shocking, rumor has it that the Kansas City front office pitched a plan to rename the Lombardi Trophy the “Mahomes Chalice of Eternal Greatness” if they three-peat.

Sports psychologists (the fake ones we consulted on Instagram DMs) have already issued dire warnings about what they’re calling “Quarterback Delusional Monarchy Syndrome.

” According to Dr.

Linda Statpad, “Symptoms include speaking in riddles, posting cryptic messages about rising legends, and demanding that Subway sandwiches be served on golden platters.

If untreated, it could lead to Mahomes believing he is not only king of football but king of all sports, art, and maybe even the DMV. ”

But what about the skeptics? Well, the critics are already sharpening their swords.

One anonymous AFC West defensive coordinator allegedly told his team, “If Mahomes thinks he’s a king, then let’s treat him like one.

Blitz him like it’s 1789 France. ”

In other words: guillotine time.

Yet here’s the problem with doubting him: history has shown that every single time Mahomes is “counted out,” he comes back bigger, faster, and somehow more commercialized.

Remember when people thought he was overrated? He responded with two MVPs, two Super Bowl rings, and about forty State Farm commercials.

Remember when people thought he’d regress after losing Tyreek Hill? He just casually became more efficient.

And remember when people mocked his brother Jackson for TikTok dancing? Okay, well… even kings have problematic court jesters.

Still, Mahomes’ dramatic “I am legend” post has opened up bigger questions.

Is the NFL ready for a quarterback monarchy? Will other QBs follow suit?

Imagine Aaron Rodgers posting about being “The Prophet,” Joe Burrow calling himself “The Cool Duke of Cincinnati,” or Kirk Cousins just humbly admitting he’s the “Neighborhood HOA President of Minnesota. ”

At the end of the day, this whole saga proves one thing: Mahomes isn’t just playing football.

He’s writing Shakespeare in shoulder pads.

Whether you love him, hate him, or are just here for the memes, you can’t ignore him.

The man has turned Sunday football into a medieval fantasy epic where touchdowns are battles, rings are crowns, and every interception is basically a dragon attack.

So buckle up, NFL fans.

This isn’t just the 2025 season.

This is Chapter One of The Book of Mahomes: Rise of the Quarterback King.

Will it end in triumph? Will it end in tragedy? Will it end with Taylor Swift dropping a power ballad titled “Crown Emoji”? Only time will tell.

But one thing’s for sure: legends may not fade, but egos? Oh, honey, they rise faster than Mahomes in a fourth-quarter comeback.

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