“Taysom Hill Comeback NOW?! Saints Fans Say ‘Enough!’ After Rattler’s Embarrassing Ranking”

If you’ve ever wanted to watch an NFL fanbase descend into a full-blown identity crisis, then look no further than New Orleans, where Saints supporters have officially decided they’ve had enough of the Spencer Rattler Experience and are now screaming into the Louisiana humidity for the return of the one man they believe can save them: Taysom “Swiss Army Knife” Hill.

It all started when the latest NFL player rankings dropped like an unwanted fruitcake, revealing that rookie quarterback Spencer Rattler had been crowned — or perhaps cursed — as the second-worst starting player in the entire league.

That’s right, not just the second-worst quarterback, but the second-worst player, as if the rankings committee took one look at his stat sheet and said, “We’ve seen better performance from a folding chair. ”

Saints Twitter, a place already known for its measured and rational reactions (just kidding — they once rioted online over a bad call in Madden), erupted into chaos.

The hashtag #BringBackTaysom started trending faster than a Bourbon Street hurricane special, with fans digging up every highlight from Hill’s days under center like archaeologists unearthing artifacts from a lost civilization where the Saints actually won games.

For those blissfully unaware of the melodrama, Taysom Hill is not just a quarterback — he’s a quarterback/running back/tight end/wide receiver/special teams kamikaze/occasional punt returner who plays football the way a caffeine-addicted child plays Madden: recklessly, chaotically, and somehow effectively.

Hill was never your textbook passer — his throwing motion sometimes resembled a man trying to heave a Thanksgiving turkey across the yard — but he could run over defenders like a minivan over a speed bump, and Saints fans loved him for it.

Rattler, on the other hand, has the misfortune of being a rookie quarterback in the NFL, which is basically like being dropped into a shark tank wearing a wetsuit made of raw steak.

Except in this case, the sharks are opposing defenses, and the steak is Rattler’s offensive line.

When the rankings came out, local sports radio shows immediately turned into group therapy sessions.

One caller, identifying himself only as “Big Tony from the Bywater,” claimed that he would rather watch Taysom Hill throw left-handed blindfolded than see another Rattler start.

Another said, “Even my grandma throws better, and she’s been dead for 12 years. ”

Meanwhile, fake experts began flooding the conversation, with one self-proclaimed analytics guru telling The Daily Beignet that Rattler’s QBR was “lower than the humidity at Mardi Gras,” which is impressive because the humidity at Mardi Gras is approximately 200 percent.

The Saints organization, of course, is pretending everything is fine.

Head coach Dennis Allen, when asked about the situation, said, “We believe in Spencer,” which is coach-speak for “We don’t have a backup plan, and also please stop emailing me your cousin’s highlight reel. ”

But the fans aren’t buying it.

They remember Taysom Hill lowering his shoulder into defenders like he was trying to run through drywall.

They remember him leading game-winning drives that looked less like organized football plays and more like improv theater.

Most importantly, they remember winning.

What makes this whole thing even juicier is that Taysom Hill isn’t gone.

He’s still on the roster, lurking in the shadows like Batman, occasionally popping in for a gadget play or special teams stunt before disappearing again into the night.

It’s like having Superman on the bench while you’re letting Jimmy from accounting handle the city’s crime wave.

One fan summed it up perfectly: “Taysom Hill might not be the best quarterback in the NFL, but he’s definitely better than the guy ranked second-worst, and that’s all I need to know. ”

Of course, the Rattler defenders — yes, all seven of them — are quick to point out that he’s a rookie and needs time to adjust to the speed of the NFL.

But in New Orleans, patience is in short supply.

This is a city that starts serving lunch at 10 a. m.and demands its hurricanes (the drink, not the weather event) be ready in under two minutes.

Waiting for a quarterback to “develop” is like asking the French Quarter to stop playing jazz for a couple years until it’s “perfect. ”

Not happening.

The memes have only fueled the fire.

One viral image shows Taysom Hill in a Superman cape with the caption “Our Only Hope,” while another features Rattler photoshopped holding a “Help Wanted” sign on the sidelines.

A local bakery even got in on the action, selling king cakes shaped like footballs with “Start Taysom” written in icing.

Meanwhile, on Instagram, Taysom Hill has been posting subtle workout videos, which fans have interpreted as coded messages that he’s ready to return to QB1 status — or possibly just that he’s bored.

In true tabloid fashion, the conspiracy theories have started swirling.

Some claim the Saints front office is intentionally keeping Taysom at bay because they don’t want to admit they made a mistake drafting Rattler.

Others think it’s part of some elaborate long-term plan where Rattler takes the public beating for two years, then Hill comes back to save the day and win a Super Bowl, all while Disney makes a feel-good movie about it.

My personal favorite theory, however, is that Taysom is secretly training in the bayou with a team of alligator coaches to prepare for his triumphant return.

It’s ridiculous, sure, but in New Orleans, that’s not even the weirdest thing you’ll hear before breakfast.

The drama has even reached the national stage.

Sports talk shows are now running split-screen debates with “Team Taysom” and “Team Rattler” analysts yelling at each other like caffeinated auctioneers.

One ESPN panelist suggested that if Rattler doesn’t improve by midseason, the Saints should just start rotating quarterbacks every drive — Taysom, Jameis Winston, Alvin Kamara, maybe even let a fan from Section 312 take a snap.

Honestly, at this point, it might be worth a try.

What makes this saga so perfectly New Orleans is the sheer theatricality of it all.

This isn’t just about football — it’s about pride, identity, and the belief that one slightly unconventional quarterback can restore order to a chaotic season.

It’s about the fans who will show up in Taysom jerseys holding signs that read “Let Him Cook” while also eating gumbo in the stands.

It’s about the fact that in this city, sports aren’t just entertainment — they’re personal.

And right now, it feels personal.

As for Spencer Rattler, he’s handling the criticism like a professional, saying all the right things in interviews and refusing to take the bait.

But you can see it in his eyes — the knowledge that every incomplete pass, every sack, every interception will be met with a chorus of boos followed by chants for Taysom Hill.

It’s a tough position for anyone, let alone a rookie, but that’s the reality of playing in a city where your backup is a cult hero.

The next few weeks will be critical.

If Rattler can somehow string together a few wins, the noise might quiet down.

But if the losses pile up, the cries for Taysom will grow louder until they drown out everything else.

And knowing Saints fans, they won’t stop until they get what they want — or until they run out of beignets, whichever comes first.

So here we are, waiting for the next chapter in the NFL’s most unlikely quarterback controversy.

Will the Saints stick with their struggling rookie, or will they unleash the full chaos of Taysom Hill once more? Will the fans finally get their wish, or will they be left reminiscing about what could have been? One thing’s for sure — in New Orleans, the drama is never just on the field.

It’s in the stands, in the streets, and in the soul of the city.

And whether you’re Team Taysom or Team Rattler, you can’t deny it — this is the kind of football soap opera that keeps us coming back for more.