Triple Threat! Raiders Add Three Unknowns on Day 3 – Super Bowl Incoming?!

The NFL Draft is supposed to be a polished event of analytics, strategy, and billionaires pretending they know what they’re doing.

But then came the Las Vegas Raiders.

A franchise that has made dysfunction an art form, once again delivered a draft performance that could only be described as “drunk uncle energy. ”

On Day 3 of the 2025 NFL Draft, the Raiders casually scooped up wide receiver Tommy Mellott, quarterback Cam Miller, and linebacker Cody Lindenberg, like someone blindly reaching into a clearance bin at Walmart and declaring it “elite shopping. ”

Forget logic.

Forget positional need.

Forget the last twenty years of pain.

This was Raiders football distilled into a single chaotic afternoon.

Tommy Mellott, yes, the quarterback-turned-wide-receiver from Montana State, was the kind of pick that screams: “We don’t actually know what position he plays, but it feels spicy. ”

Raiders fans blinked twice when they heard his name called, then Googled “Is Tommy Mellott still a quarterback?” only to be told that he’s now running routes instead of throwing them.

A Day 3 experiment? Sure.

But it’s the Raiders, so you just know there’s a 50-50 chance Mellott either becomes Julian Edelman 2. 0 or is working at a Bass Pro Shop in two years.

Then there’s Cam Miller, another quarterback.

Because what better way to fix your perennial quarterback problem than by hoarding passers like they’re Pokémon cards? Miller, the North Dakota State product, has “practice squad vibes” written all over him, but don’t tell that to the Raiders’ war room, which reportedly erupted into high-fives and Red Bull chugging when his name was read.

“We just drafted the next Tom Brady,” one unnamed executive allegedly shouted, though another insider quickly clarified: “He meant Tom from accounting.

Very reliable guy. ”

And let’s not forget Cody Lindenberg, a linebacker who looks like he was built in a Minnesota farm workshop out of corn stalks and frostbite.

Solid player.

Tough.

Gritty.

The type of guy who will get a concussion during walkthroughs and still tell reporters he’s “ready to go. ”

Raiders Nation will love him, until he inevitably misses a tackle on Patrick Mahomes that turns into a 70-yard touchdown.

But hey, the Raiders defense needed bodies, and Cody is definitely a body.

Of course, the draft isn’t just about who you pick, it’s about how you pick them.

Eyewitnesses claim the Raiders’ draft room looked like a casino buffet at 3 a. m. —chaotic energy, questionable decisions, and way too many people sweating profusely.

One fake scout I interviewed told me, “They were literally playing rock-paper-scissors to decide between Mellott and a kicker from Idaho.

Mellott only won because someone threw scissors. ”

Fans, naturally, reacted like they always do: blind optimism mixed with crippling despair.

Raiders Twitter immediately began posting grainy highlight clips of Mellott running past Division II defenders, accompanied by captions like “UNDERRATED STEAL. ”

Others simply tweeted the word “WHY?” followed by crying emojis.

One fan even posted a video of himself lighting his draft guide on fire, screaming, “WE TOOK A QB-TURNED-WR WHO CAN’T EVEN RUN A 4. 4!”

This was promptly retweeted by 2,000 people who were equally confused but too emotionally invested to look away.

The media, meanwhile, had a field day.

NFL Network analysts tried their best to act serious.

“Mellott brings versatility,” one host said while holding back laughter.

“Cam Miller adds depth,” another offered, though the word “depth” seemed to mean “emergency quarterback for when the entire roster is swallowed by a black hole. ”

ESPN, never missing a chance for drama, ran a segment titled ‘Raiders’ Day 3 Draft: Genius or Disaster?’ Spoiler: everyone voted disaster, but they still stretched it into a 30-minute debate because, well, ratings.

And then came the fake experts.

Dr. Lionel Pompous, a self-proclaimed “football futurist,” told us: “The Raiders are actually ahead of their time.

Mellott is not a wide receiver, he is a concept.

You don’t draft players for what they are, you draft them for the metaphor. ”

Meanwhile, Dolores Fang, an astrologer who apparently consults NFL teams (don’t ask how), claimed: “Cam Miller was born under Mercury retrograde, which means he will either throw 30 touchdowns or 30 interceptions.

The stars are unclear. ”

But perhaps the most shocking twist? Rumors swirled that head coach Antonio Pierce didn’t even know Mellott was drafted until a reporter told him.

“Wait, who?” Pierce allegedly muttered.

“I thought we picked up another defensive back. ”

Classic Raiders.

And yet, here’s the thing: it might actually work.

Because the Raiders live in chaos.

They are chaos.

This is the same franchise that once drafted a kicker in the first round, traded Khalil Mack for peanuts, and still somehow won games in between lawsuits and locker-room meltdowns.

If any team can draft a QB-turned-WR from Montana, a backup QB from North Dakota, and a linebacker from a frozen wasteland and turn it into a Super Bowl run, it’s the Raiders.

Or maybe not.

More likely, we’ll be sitting here in three years asking, “Whatever happened to Tommy Mellott?” as NFL Films rolls a 12-second highlight reel of him catching one pass against the Broncos.

For now, Raiders fans have hope, and hope is dangerous.

One die-hard fan we spoke to outside Allegiant Stadium was already drunk on optimism.

“Mellott’s gonna be the next Jerry Rice,” he slurred, wearing a spiked shoulder pad costume.

Another fan declared, “Cam Miller is QB1 by Week 5, book it!” Someone else just yelled, “LINDENBERG FOR DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR!” before passing out on the pavement.

So there you have it.

Day 3 of the NFL Draft was a fever dream, and the Raiders were at the center of it, as always.

Mellott, Miller, and Lindenberg might become household names.

Or they might become trivia questions on a Raiders podcast in 2030.

Either way, the headlines write themselves, the memes are glorious, and Raiders Nation has once again been reminded that in Las Vegas, the house never wins.

Because the house is the Raiders.

And the Raiders never win.