Raiders Draft WHO?! Internet in Meltdown Over “Bold” QB Pick at #213!

Las Vegas is a city built on bad decisions, neon lights, and the occasional Elvis impersonator passed out on a craps table, but even Sin City itself could not have scripted the bizarre plot twist that was the Raiders selecting quarterback Tommy Mellott with the 213th overall pick in the 2025 NFL Draft.

Yes, you read that right.

Tommy Mellott.

At pick 213.

For a fanbase already traumatized by decades of chaos, disappointment, and the ghost of JaMarcus Russell still haunting the team’s draft board, this was the football equivalent of hitting on 19 at the blackjack table just to “see what happens. ”

And the grade? A modest “B. ”

Which in Raiders language translates roughly to, “We didn’t set the franchise on fire this time, but give us until Week 4. ”

Let’s be brutally honest here.

A “B” is not the kind of grade you want when you’ve been waiting for a savior since 1983.

Raiders fans wanted an “A. ”

They wanted a miracle.

Instead, they got Mellott—a quarterback whose name sounds more like an indie folk singer playing banjo in Montana than the leader of a multi-billion-dollar franchise.

“Mellott at 213 is like finding a pair of Crocs in the clearance bin and convincing yourself they’re limited-edition Yeezys,” mocked one anonymous NFL scout who may or may not have been drunk at the time.

“Sure, they cover your feet, but do you really want to be seen in public with them?”

But before we roast this poor kid straight into oblivion, let’s examine the “logic” (a dangerous word when used in the same sentence as “Raiders draft”) behind this decision.

At 213th overall, you’re basically fishing in the shallow end of the talent pool, hoping to find a stray goldfish among the minnows.

Most players picked here never even make it past training camp.

The Raiders, however, have convinced themselves that Mellott might be their secret weapon.

Or at least, that he’ll be good enough to sell a few jerseys at the gift shop inside Allegiant Stadium before the dream crashes down in flames.

What’s the scouting report on Mellott?

Well, if you ask the Raiders front office, he’s got “intangibles. ”

And by intangibles, they mean he can tie his cleats, remember his playbook half the time, and maybe throw a spiral when the wind is at his back.

But don’t worry, Raiders Nation—he’s “gritty. ”

Which is NFL code for: “He’s not very fast, not very strong, not particularly accurate, but he tries really hard and cries at inspirational speeches. ”

Translation? Expect Mellott to be leading your practice squad in push-up contests by mid-October.

Fans on social media had mixed reactions, ranging from cautious optimism to complete emotional breakdowns.

One Raiders diehard on Twitter (now X, but no one cares) wrote: “Tommy Mellott? Bro, I thought that was a character from a Hallmark Christmas movie.

The Raiders are cooked. ”

Another fan simply tweeted: “B = Baffling. ”

And perhaps the most savage reaction came from a Chargers fan who posted a meme of SpongeBob in a Raiders jersey holding a sign that read: “At least it wasn’t another punter. ”

Harsh.

Still, let’s not underestimate the Raiders’ ability to spin this.

Within minutes of the draft, the team’s social media accounts were already posting highlight reels of Mellott completing passes against Division III defensive backs, intercut with dramatic slow-motion footage and inspirational music that would make you think they just drafted Tom Brady 2. 0.

“We see greatness,” said GM Tom Telesco, with the kind of straight face only achievable by someone who has perfected the art of lying to the media.

“At pick 213, Tommy Mellott was exactly who we wanted all along. ”

Sure, Tom.

And I’m sure Vegas was exactly where the NFL wanted the draft all along—because nothing screams “football integrity” like a franchise gambling away its future both literally and metaphorically.

And let’s talk about that grade.

A “B. ”

Who gives out these draft grades anyway? It’s like grading a kindergartener’s macaroni art and pretending it’s the Mona Lisa.

Nobody knows if Mellott is going to succeed or implode, but for now, let’s all pretend this makes sense.

ESPN analysts called it “a safe pick with upside. ”

Translation: “We ran out of things to say, so we’re stalling until the next commercial break. ”

Of course, the real question on everyone’s mind is: Will Mellott even survive training camp?

The Raiders’ quarterback room is already a crowded disaster, a clown car of mediocrity featuring journeymen, practice-squad lifers, and at least one guy who probably has a LinkedIn profile that says “Aspiring Influencer. ”

For Mellott to crack that lineup, he’ll need more than grit—he’ll need divine intervention, or at the very least, the entire depth chart above him mysteriously slipping on banana peels.

But hey, this is the Raiders.

Stranger things have happened.

Remember when they hired a TV analyst as their head coach? Remember when they moved to Las Vegas and tried to convince fans that a stadium shaped like a Roomba was the future of football? Remember when Al Davis once drafted a guy just because he ran fast in a straight line? Yeah, this Mellott pick fits right in with the franchise’s long and glorious history of chaos.

Experts—or at least people pretending to be experts—are already weighing in.

Fake sports psychologist Dr. Phil Gridlock told us: “The Raiders don’t draft players.

They draft storylines.

And Mellott is a perfect storyline—an underdog quarterback picked at the end of the draft who will either become a Hollywood movie or a cautionary tale on why you should never gamble sober. ”

Meanwhile, financial analyst Sue Moneybags added: “This is a brilliant pick if Mellott sells enough jerseys to cover the cost of one stadium beer.

Otherwise, it’s just another L in a city built on L’s. ”

And let’s not forget the drama potential.

Raiders quarterbacks have a history of crashing and burning in spectacular fashion.

JaMarcus Russell ate his way out of the league.

Derek Carr cried his way out of Vegas.

Jimmy Garoppolo… well, he just left quietly, which might actually be worse.

Could Mellott be the next tragic chapter in this quarterback soap opera? Or will he rise from the ashes like a footballing phoenix and shock the world? Place your bets now—literally, because it’s Vegas and someone will take your money on this.

Even the Hollywood crowd is taking notice.

Rumors are already circulating that Netflix is considering a documentary titled “Last Pick in Vegas: The Mellott Miracle”, chronicling his rise from anonymity to inevitable heartbreak.

“It’s basically Rocky, but with fewer punches and more interceptions,” said one anonymous producer.

So, what should Raiders fans expect? Realistically, not much.

Mellott might never start a game.

He might not even make the 53-man roster.

But he represents something bigger—the eternal hope that maybe, just maybe, the Raiders will stumble onto greatness by accident.

Because let’s be honest: hope is all this fanbase has left.

Until then, enjoy the memes, Raiders Nation.

Enjoy the “B” grade that feels more like a participation trophy.

Enjoy the fact that your team just drafted a quarterback at 213 who has as much chance of becoming a legend as a slot machine has of paying out in your favor.

But hey—this is Vegas.

Sometimes, against all odds, the house doesn’t win.

Maybe Tommy Mellott is that miracle.

Or maybe, like so many bets before, the Raiders will lose big.

Either way, grab your popcorn.

This is going to be fun.

Final Thought: The Raiders drafting Tommy Mellott at 213 isn’t a football decision—it’s performance art.

And if you can’t laugh at it, you’re probably not a real Raiders fan.

Because in the silver-and-black circus, mediocrity isn’t just expected.

It’s tradition.