RAIDERS DUMP TRASHCAN TOMMY! Cut Before Practice Squad, While Cam Miller Stays Winning

Well folks, it finally happened.

The football gods have spoken, karma has collected its overdue payment, and Raiders fans everywhere are sipping their lukewarm Bud Lights with a smug grin.

Tommy Mellott — or as the internet will forever know him, Trashcan Tommy — has officially been cut by the Las Vegas Raiders, and in the kind of poetic justice usually reserved for Shakespearean tragedies, he didn’t even survive long enough to make the practice squad.

That’s right.

Not QB3.

Not scout team water-boy.

Not even the guy who holds the iPad for Derek Carr’s ghost.

 

Mellott is gone, booted, ejected from Raider Nation faster than you can say “Al Davis is rolling in his grave. ”

Meanwhile, his college nemesis Cam Miller is still there, cool as a cucumber, probably smiling at Tommy’s misfortune while humming the NDSU fight song and gently polishing his roster spot like it’s a Super Bowl ring.

You could not script this better if you tried.

Let’s rewind for those who haven’t been following Mellott’s bizarre rise and catastrophic fall.

Once upon a time in the magical land of FCS football, Tommy Mellott was the Montana State golden boy — the kid who was supposed to put the Bobcats on the map.

Instead, he ended up putting himself in memes.

Fans still cackle over the infamous “trash can incident” during the FCS Championship game, when Mellott, frustrated after yet another beatdown by North Dakota State, shoved over an innocent metal garbage bin on the sidelines.

The can, tragically, did nothing wrong.

But Tommy? He became Trashcan Tommy forever.

Social media doesn’t forget.

Raiders fans especially don’t forget, because they’ve seen enough trash in their lives — on and off the field.

Fast forward to this year’s NFL draft circus.

In a shocking move that baffled scouts, angered Raider diehards, and caused at least one fan to set his Derek Carr jersey on fire in protest, the Raiders decided to take a flier on Mellott.

Some analysts whispered that they envisioned him in a gadget role, a poor man’s Taysom Hill, except with less muscle, less versatility, and apparently less emotional maturity.

The experiment lasted about as long as a bag of Cheetos in the Black Hole.

One OTA here, one preseason snap there, and suddenly, Trashcan Tommy was trashcanned right out of the building.

The Raiders didn’t even offer him a pity practice squad spot, the NFL equivalent of getting a participation trophy.

That’s like being dumped via text message but not even getting the courtesy of an emoji.

 

Brutal.

And here’s the kicker.

While Mellott is updating his LinkedIn page to say “Former Raider (5 minutes),” Cam Miller — the very quarterback who tormented him in college with North Dakota State dominance — is still on the Raiders’ depth chart.

Yep.

The guy who represented Mellott’s nightmares every time he closed his eyes in Bozeman is now the one cashing actual Raiders checks.

This isn’t just coincidence.

This is cosmic comedy.

“This is karma in shoulder pads,” declared our made-up NFL expert, Dr.

Phil Gridiron, who also moonlights as a motivational speaker for washed-up high school athletes.

“You push over a trash can on national television, and the universe is going to push you out of the NFL.

It’s that simple. ”

Of course, Raiders fans are having a field day with this.

The memes are writing themselves.

One photo circulating shows a Raiders locker room trash bin with a “Reserved for Tommy Mellott” sign taped to it.

Another features Mellott’s face photoshopped on an Oscar the Grouch costume with the caption, “From trash to trashcan. ”

The internet is undefeated, and Trashcan Tommy is just the latest victim.

But let’s not pretend this wasn’t predictable.

The Raiders are known for bizarre draft decisions — JaMarcus Russell, anyone? — but even by their low standards, Mellott was a head-scratcher.

He wasn’t just raw; he was sushi-raw, unseasoned, and still flopping around on the plate.

 

His arm strength was questioned.

His accuracy was questioned.

His leadership was questioned.

And his maturity? Well, let’s just say that when your biggest highlight is bullying a garbage can, you might not be ready for the big leagues.

Insiders claim Mellott struggled mightily during training camp.

His deep passes looked more like punts.

His footwork was compared to a kid learning TikTok dances.

And when a coach asked him to read a defense, he allegedly pulled out a Kindle.

Not a great look.

“He was trying hard, I’ll give him that,” said a supposed Raiders staffer we just made up, “but at some point, effort isn’t enough.

You either throw touchdowns or you’re taking out the trash.

And in his case, it was both. ”

Meanwhile, Cam Miller is thriving.

He’s reportedly impressed coaches with his poise, accuracy, and, most importantly, his ability to not assault sideline equipment.

That alone puts him leagues ahead of Mellott.

 

Raider Nation, which initially groaned at Miller’s signing, is suddenly whispering about him being a potential hidden gem.

Could the former NDSU Bison quarterback be the dark horse backup that saves Vegas when Jimmy Garoppolo inevitably injures himself while brushing his hair? Stranger things have happened.

After all, Brock Purdy exists.

Still, the question remains: what’s next for Trashcan Tommy? Rumors swirl about a possible move to the Canadian Football League, where they apparently let you throw interceptions on a bigger field.

Others suggest he could reinvent himself as a motivational speaker on “How Not to Handle Adversity. ”

One bold Twitter user even predicted he’d be cast on the next season of The Bachelor, because nothing screams ratings like a former athlete crying over roses while wearing a “Free the Trashcan” T-shirt.

Some defenders of Mellott argue that the Raiders gave up too soon, that he deserved more time to develop.

But let’s be honest here: NFL teams don’t have patience anymore.

This isn’t the 1970s.

You either produce immediately or you’re gone.

And Mellott? He produced nothing but memes and recycling jokes.

Harsh but true.

The Raiders cutting him before the practice squad feels especially cruel, though.

Usually teams at least throw a developmental guy onto the squad just to see if he grows.

Not Mellott.

They straight-up Marie Kondo’d him out of the building.

 

“Does this quarterback spark joy?” they asked.

The answer: absolutely not.

Out he went.

And as if this weren’t humiliating enough, the timing makes it even worse.

Raiders fans are entering the season with cautious optimism, dreaming of playoff berths while clinging to the hope that Jimmy G’s bones don’t crumble before Halloween.

The last thing they wanted was another circus distraction.

Cutting Mellott now sends a clear message: this team is done clowning around.

Trashcan Tommy wasn’t just cut.

He was sacrificed.

So here we are.

Mellott is gone.

Cam Miller is still standing.

The trash can is still bent, probably in therapy.

And the Raiders are moving forward with the kind of ruthless efficiency usually reserved for mob bosses in Scorsese films.

Raider Nation, of course, will never forget.

Mellott may fade from NFL memory, but in the hearts of fans, he’ll live forever as Trashcan Tommy, the kid who shoved a bin and ended up shoved out of the league.

And maybe that’s the real lesson here, kids.

Treat your trash cans with respect.

Because one day, the trash can will come back for revenge.

And when it does, it’ll look an awful lot like Cam Miller in a Raiders uniform.