“Pirates of the Caribbean 6: Johnny Depp’s Epic Comeback Hangs on One Script — Will He Say ‘Yo-Ho’ Again?”

Hollywood just cannot quit Johnny Depp, and Johnny Depp apparently cannot quit eyeliner, leather boots, or slurring in a British accent that no one can quite place on a map.

Yes, buckle up, because Jerry Bruckheimer, the producer who has made a career out of explosions, loud music, and throwing millions of dollars at scripts held together by duct tape and eyeliner, has just confirmed that the Pirates of the Caribbean 6 script is nearly finished.

And the kicker? Captain Jack Sparrow himself may actually return if he likes the script.

Let that sink in.

The entire billion-dollar Disney empire apparently now hinges on whether or not Johnny Depp, lounging in his French castle surrounded by guitars, wine bottles, and an alarming number of scarves, gives a polite nod and says, “Aye, I’ll do it. ”

According to Bruckheimer, Depp will be the first to read the script once it’s done.

Translation: Disney is officially back on its knees, begging Depp to return like a jilted ex texting at 2 a. m. after swearing they’d never go back.

And why not? Depp’s messy legal battles, his courtroom stares, and his refusal to age like a normal person have only made him more infamous.

And in Hollywood, infamous sells tickets.

Naturally, the news has sent fans into a full-blown frenzy, with hashtags like #BringBackJack and #DeppOrBust trending faster than you can say “why is Orlando Bloom still around?” Devoted Sparrow stans are already planning pirate-themed watch parties, complete with fake rum, plastic swords, and questionable eyeliner.

Meanwhile, those who swore Depp was “canceled forever” are now awkwardly pretending they didn’t once write 2,000-word think pieces about his downfall.

One fake movie critic we interviewed (okay, it was just my cousin who still owns a Jack Sparrow Funko Pop) told us: “If Disney doesn’t bring Depp back, this franchise is deader than Will Turner’s charisma. ”

Harsh but fair.

Of course, Disney has spent years trying to convince the world that Pirates could live without Captain Jack.

Remember the rumors of a Margot Robbie-led reboot? Yeah, those plans were shoved into Davy Jones’s locker faster than you can say “box office flop. ”

Audiences didn’t want a “new era” of pirates.

They wanted Jack Sparrow stumbling around, asking inappropriate questions, and somehow winning sword fights despite being drunker than a sailor on shore leave.

Without him, the franchise is just… a bunch of boats and British accents.

And let’s face it, nobody’s paying $20 for that.

But let’s not pretend this comeback would be simple.

Depp’s return is tied to one small, insignificant condition: the script has to be “good. ”

Yes, we all laughed too.

When was the last time a Pirates movie had a coherent plot? Between the sea witches, cursed monkeys, evil octopus men, and whatever that nonsense was in Dead Men Tell No Tales, quality storytelling has never exactly been the franchise’s selling point.

Fans aren’t here for Shakespeare.

They’re here for Johnny Depp stumbling through chaos with a bottle of rum and a suspicious amount of eyeliner.

If Bruckheimer is hoping Depp will read the script and say, “Yes, this is art,” he might want to rethink his approach.

But here’s where the gossip gets juicy: insiders are whispering that Depp knows he has the upper hand.

After all, Disney booted him from the franchise during his very public legal drama with Amber Heard, only to watch the franchise flop without him.

Now, with his image partially resurrected thanks to his win in court and a legion of online fans treating him like a misunderstood rock god, Depp can basically name his price.

One Hollywood “expert” (read: a barista I bribed with a pumpkin spice latte) speculated: “Johnny’s not just reading for quality.

He’s checking to see if Disney finally remembered that he is the franchise.

Without him, the Caribbean is closed for business. ”

And what does Depp think of all this? Sources close to him (which means tabloids with no actual sources) claim he’s “open” to returning, but only if the script captures the “essence” of Jack Sparrow.

Others suggest Depp is more interested in staying in Europe, playing guitar, and avoiding Hollywood’s chaos.

Still, money talks louder than morality in Tinseltown, and if Disney backs a truck of gold doubloons up to his castle, we all know where this is heading.

Meanwhile, fans are already rewriting the script themselves online.

Some want Jack Sparrow to have a redemption arc.

Others want him to stay a drunken trickster.

A particularly wild fan theory suggests Sparrow should be revealed as an immortal pirate god, because sure, why not.

One fan even posted: “Just bring him back, make him fight zombie Elon Musk pirates, and shut up. ”

Honestly? Disney should hire that person immediately.

The plot details for Pirates 6 are still under wraps, but whispers from the set suggest Bruckheimer is pushing for “a return to the classic Sparrow energy. ”

Translation: less confusing mythology, more drunken sword fights.

Disney reportedly wants the movie to “appeal to Gen Z,” which likely means we’ll see Jack Sparrow trying to understand TikTok trends at sea.

(Picture him saying, “What is a ‘rizz,’ mate?” while sword-fighting a sea witch.

Tell me that wouldn’t sell tickets. )

But the real drama isn’t in the plot.

It’s in the power struggle.

Can Depp forgive Disney for tossing him overboard during his legal mess? Will Disney grovel enough to make him happy? Will Jerry Bruckheimer, now in his late 70s and apparently still addicted to explosions, finally convince his pirate muse to sail again?

One thing’s for sure: the entertainment world thrives on chaos, and this story delivers.

The very idea of Depp flipping through a Pirates 6 script like it’s a college essay he doesn’t want to grade is both hilarious and iconic.

If he likes it, the box office could once again flood with billions.

If he doesn’t, Disney might actually have to—gasp—create something original.

And we all know that’s not happening.

So grab your fake compass, pour yourself a suspiciously full glass of rum, and brace for the next chapter in this never-ending saga.

Because whether Depp returns or not, one thing is certain: Captain Jack Sparrow is not just a character.

He’s an empire, a meme, and possibly the only reason anyone still remembers Orlando Bloom exists.

And if Johnny Depp does come back? Expect theaters filled with screaming fans, Disney executives crying tears of relief, and Jerry Bruckheimer lighting a celebratory cannon in his backyard.

After all, in Hollywood, the dead may tell no tales—but they sure as hell sign contracts if the paycheck is big enough.