“Colbert’s Exit Lit the Fuse—Now Late Night Is Ready to Explode!”

If you thought late night TV was dead, buried, and rotting in the grave next to Carson-era jokes about Reagan, think again — because the undead are clawing their way out of the dirt, and they’ve brought microphones.

In a move so unexpected it might actually cause Jimmy Fallon to break into a genuine laugh, late night’s biggest names are banding together for the first time in history, all because CBS decided to do something so wildly tone-deaf it could only have been signed off by a network exec wearing noise-canceling headphones: pulling The Late Show after Stephen Colbert dared to take a swing at a $16 million deal.

Now, instead of fading into a polite industry silence, the comedy world is having a full-blown uprising.

Picture it: Fallon stepping out of his “haha look at me giggle” lane, Jimmy Kimmel abandoning his vacation mid-margarita, Seth Meyers writing punchlines so sharp they could slice through CBS’s legal department, and John Oliver glaring into the camera like he’s about to personally sue the entire network.

The late night Cold War is over.

The comedy Avengers are assembling.

And CBS might have just lit the match on their own ratings funeral pyre.

The plan — if you believe the whispers coming out of a hastily booked Manhattan backroom — is simple: four hosts, one stage, one night, no commercials, no network censors, and one unified message: “We’re done playing nice. ”

This isn’t just about Colbert.

This is about what they’re calling “a blow to comedy itself,” which, depending on your perspective, is either heroic resistance or four rich guys doing performative outrage in suits.

But make no mistake — something’s brewing behind the curtains of the Ed Sullivan Theater, and it’s not Colbert’s farewell cake.

Let’s rewind.

Colbert, as anyone with a pulse and a Wi-Fi connection knows, has never been shy about skewering big money deals, especially the kind where executives cash checks while actual workers get “thoughts and prayers. ”

So when he lobbed a sharp jab at a $16 million agreement that smelled more corporate than creative, CBS reportedly decided that was a little too spicy for their brand of late night vanilla.

Cue the abrupt pulling of The Late Show, the official reason reading like it was written by ChatGPT in “Legal CYA” mode.

Fans were furious.

Comedians were livid.

And somewhere in a Beverly Hills boardroom, a CBS lawyer was stress-eating kale chips.

Enter Fallon, Kimmel, Meyers, and Oliver, who apparently saw the move not just as a slap to Colbert, but as an insult to their entire genre.

“This isn’t just about one guy,” Fallon reportedly told insiders while sipping a suspiciously large cup of iced coffee.

“It’s about all of us.

And also, yeah, it’s about Stephen.

I mean, the guy made network TV watchable. ”

Kimmel, according to one fake-but-believable source, was even more blunt: “I don’t care if I have to cut my vacation short — actually, I do, but this is worth it. ”

What makes this whole thing juicier is that late night hosts are famously competitive, trading jabs and stealing guests like it’s an Olympic sport.

Fallon and Kimmel have been in a low-key ratings battle for years.

Meyers has quietly carved out his niche as “the smart one. ”

Oliver, technically on HBO and thus above all this peasant network drama, usually only shows up when he can deliver a 20-minute takedown involving pie charts.

And yet here they are, ready to stand shoulder to shoulder for the cause.

“It’s like if Batman, Iron Man, and a very tired English professor decided to overthrow a dictatorship,” quipped Dr.

Rita Marsh, our made-up “comedy historian. ”

The joint show — which sources are calling The Last Late Night — is rumored to be part monologue, part roast, part group therapy session for comedians who’ve had to smile politely while their bosses made terrible decisions.

Topics will reportedly include corporate greed, censorship, and why the hell network executives still think people watch TV live.

“We’re not pulling punches,” Meyers allegedly told his writing staff.

“If CBS thought Stephen was too much, they’re about to have an aneurysm. ”

CBS, for its part, is scrambling to figure out whether this is an actual career-threatening rebellion or just a one-night publicity stunt.

Publicly, they’ve issued a bland “no comment” that reads like it was faxed in from 1997.

Privately, sources claim they’ve had “do not book” memos sent to talent coordinators across multiple shows — as if they can stop four men with microphones and egos from doing whatever they want.

One anonymous CBS staffer confided, “The higher-ups are terrified this will set a precedent.

If the comedians win this round, what’s next? News anchors telling the truth?”

Fans, meanwhile, are already losing their collective minds.

Reddit threads are filling up with theories, memes, and speculation about whether Colbert will make a surprise appearance.

TikTok is flooded with edits of all four hosts side by side, set to Avengers Assemble music.

On X (Twitter), #ComedyCoup trended for 14 straight hours, accompanied by photoshopped posters depicting the four hosts in pirate costumes storming CBS headquarters.

“We don’t want them to take the stage back,” one user posted.

“We want them to burn it down. ”

Even other comedians are weighing in.

Trevor Noah, tweeting from what we assume is a beach somewhere, wrote, “Wish I could be there — sounds like my kind of chaos. ”

Samantha Bee simply tweeted, “Do it, cowards. ”

Bill Maher has not commented, presumably because nobody asked.

Insiders say the Monday night event could be a career-defining moment — or a total disaster.

“This is either going to be the most-watched thing in late night history or the most awkward crossover since that time Full House characters showed up on Family Matters,” says fake entertainment lawyer Brent Hawkins.

“But it’s got people talking, and that’s already more than CBS managed with their last three fall premieres. ”

And let’s not pretend there isn’t some delicious hypocrisy in play here.

These are, after all, millionaires with cushy gigs taking a stand against… other millionaires with cushy gigs.

But that’s the beauty of late night — it’s performative outrage dressed up as comedy, and audiences will eat it up as long as the punchlines hit.

If nothing else, the image of John Oliver and Jimmy Fallon attempting a synchronized joke without one dissolving into giggles is worth the price of admission.

As for Colbert, his official stance is still a mystery.

Some believe he’s letting his peers do the heavy lifting while he plans his own big reveal.

Others think he might crash the show in full Letterman-style beard mode, delivering one last monologue to torch CBS from the inside out.

“If Stephen shows up unannounced, it’s over,” says one network insider.

“The internet will implode.

And so might the Ed Sullivan Theater. ”

For now, all we know is that Monday night could mark the end of late night’s quiet, polite era — the one where hosts stayed in their lanes, never crossed streams, and kept their critiques corporate-friendly.

In its place? Something louder, messier, and far more unpredictable.

Maybe it’s a one-night stunt.

Maybe it’s the beginning of an actual comedy rebellion.

Either way, CBS lit the fuse.

And when these four step onto the same stage, you can bet they’ll be aiming the fireworks right at the network’s ivory tower.

So grab your popcorn, cancel your early Tuesday morning plans, and prepare for the kind of late night TV we haven’t seen since the days when Letterman used to throw stuff off rooftops.

Because when Fallon, Kimmel, Meyers, and Oliver join forces, the only guarantee is chaos — and after CBS’s blunder, chaos might be exactly what late night needs.