WNBA Drops Bombshell: Mandatory S3X Testing Shakes Up Women’s Basketball! What Jeanine Pirro’s Shocking Comment Means for the Game#

If you thought 2025 was finally going to calm down and let us all drink our iced coffees in peace, think again.

Because just when we’d adjusted to AI replacing half the workforce and celebrities fighting over who can sell the most overpriced skincare brand, along comes Jeanine Pirro, Fox News’ resident wine aunt, to singlehandedly drag us all back into the cultural Thunderdome.

This time, her target is none other than Brittney Griner, the 6’9” WNBA star who has survived Russian prison, basketball politics, and more internet trolls than anyone deserves.

But Pirro, never one to let facts, decency, or even basic etiquette stand in her way, reportedly called Griner a “sh!t” on live television after the bombshell announcement that the WNBA will begin mandatory gender testing for all players starting next season.

Yes, you read that right.

Gender testing.

In 2025.

Because apparently the WNBA decided the best way to make headlines wasn’t through dunks, buzzer-beaters, or, you know, basketball—but through a decision that sounds like it was drafted by the ghost of some 1950s gym teacher.

Naturally, Pirro took this announcement and sprinted with it like it was her personal Super Bowl.

During her show, which is usually a cocktail of shouting, vaguely legal jargon, and thinly veiled fury at anyone under 40, Pirro saw an opportunity to make the entire situation about herself.

“This is the truth they don’t want you to know!” she screeched, slamming her wine glass—I mean, her papers—on the desk.

“Griner? That’s not a woman, that’s a… sh!t!” Cue gasps, pearl-clutching, and a thousand conservative uncles nodding along from their recliners.

The internet, predictably, went into meltdown mode within seconds.

Twitter, or X, or whatever Elon’s calling it this week, lit up like Times Square at midnight.

“Jeanine Pirro just said WHAT about Brittney Griner?!?” one user tweeted in all caps, while another wrote, “Imagine being Jeanine Pirro and waking up every morning deciding to fight 6’9” women’s basketball legends with your Chardonnay glass as your only weapon. ”

Memes flew in faster than WNBA highlight reels, with Griner’s face photoshopped onto Godzilla stomping Pirro’s Fox News studio into rubble.

One particularly viral post showed Pirro holding a magnifying glass over a basketball with the caption: “BREAKING: Jeanine investigating gender inanimate objects now. ”

Meanwhile, the WNBA’s decision to enforce gender testing has caused a storm that makes Sharknado look like a drizzle.

Fans are torn between laughter, outrage, and utter confusion.

“I came here to watch layups, not lab reports,” said one longtime fan clutching her season tickets.

Others pointed out that the league, which has spent years fighting for equal pay and respect, somehow decided this was the bold new path forward.

“They want to check chromosomes instead of checking why players are still flying coach?” another fan tweeted.

Truly, you cannot make this stuff up.

Experts—meaning anyone with a podcast, a TikTok account, or the ability to type—have already weighed in.

Dr. Karen Loudly, self-proclaimed cultural analyst and part-time spin instructor, told us: “Mandatory gender testing in sports is a desperate attempt for attention.

The WNBA has finally realized that no one outside ESPN highlights was talking about them, so they decided to poke the hornet’s nest of gender politics.

And Jeanine Pirro? She’s like the hornet who drank too much merlot before stinging. ”

Even other celebrities are chiming in, because no controversy is complete until Hollywood uses it for clout.

Rapper Lil Nas X tweeted, “Imagine thinking Brittney Griner cares what Jeanine Pirro thinks.

She survived Russian prison.

Jeanine can’t even survive a group text.

” Chrissy Teigen posted an Instagram story saying, “WNBA… honey… no,” with her classic mock-shocked face.

And The Rock, who somehow always appears during these moments, shared a video saying he’ll “stand with Griner” while simultaneously plugging his latest tequila brand.

But here’s where the plot twist gets even juicier.

According to exclusive insider whispers (translation: probably some unpaid intern leaking DMs), CBS execs who recently let go of Colbert are secretly laughing because they know Pirro’s meltdown is pulling attention away from their late-night disaster.

“This is the best distraction we could have hoped for,” one anonymous source allegedly giggled into their overpriced oat milk latte.

“Let Jeanine scream about gender testing while we try to figure out how to replace Colbert with a puppet show. ”

Of course, Jeanine Pirro isn’t backing down.

If anything, she’s doubling down like a gambler who just lost her mortgage money in Vegas.

On her latest segment, she stared into the camera with the intensity of a woman who’s about to throw hands at a Costco returns counter and shouted: “We need the truth! We need testing! And Brittney Griner needs to answer!” Answer what, exactly? Who knows.

Jeanine certainly doesn’t.

But the beauty of tabloid meltdowns is that they don’t require coherence—only volume.

And let’s not forget the real irony here.

Brittney Griner has already been through one of the most public ordeals in modern sports history, yet she handles herself with more grace than half of Congress.

She’s been detained abroad, used as a political pawn, and returned to the U. S. only to be immediately thrown into another culture war.

And through it all, she still shows up to drop buckets on the court while Jeanine Pirro can’t even drop a coherent sentence without slurring halfway through.

One fan hilariously pointed this out online: “Griner is dunking basketballs while Jeanine is dunking cookies in boxed wine. ”

Brutal.

The WNBA now finds itself in a firestorm that could make or break its future.

Will they actually go through with mandatory gender testing? Will lawsuits rain down faster than three-pointers? Will Pirro sober up long enough to issue an apology, or will she pivot to yelling at Serena Williams next week? Insiders say lawyers are already circling, smelling blood in the water—and potential six-figure settlements.

And the best part? Brittney Griner herself hasn’t even said a word yet.

She’s letting the chaos swirl around her, calmly practicing free throws while the world loses its mind.

A close source to Griner (probably her neighbor’s cousin’s dog walker) allegedly said: “She’s not worried.

She knows she’s the real deal.

And Jeanine Pirro couldn’t last ten seconds guarding her in a pickup game.

” Imagine it: Pirro in heels, Griner spinning past her with ease, the entire arena collapsing in laughter.

So where does this leave us? With a late-night hostless CBS, a WNBA that thinks gender testing is the PR move of the year, Jeanine Pirro shrieking like she’s auditioning for a Real Housewives reboot, and Brittney Griner once again proving she’s unbothered and untouchable.

In other words: America, 2025 edition.

As one fake expert (me) might put it: “The world is a circus.

Jeanine Pirro is the clown car.

And Brittney Griner is the lion who just yawns while the chaos unfolds. ”

Stay tuned, folks.

Because if this week is any indication, the next headline might read: “Pirro Challenges Griner to Gender Testing Cage Match—Loser Buys the Chardonnay.

” And honestly? I wouldn’t even be surprised.