“KAMALA UNCUT: Inside the 107 Days That Nearly Broke Washington — And Her Heels!”

Kamala Harris has finally decided to do what every burned out politician secretly dreams of but never admits and that is to write her own tell all diary about the chaos of the 2024 election and she has titled it “107 Days” because apparently nothing screams gravitas like slapping a random number on the cover and pretending it is deep but let us be honest it is basically a Mean Girls style burn book disguised as political literature and it is everything you think it is and more because Harris has turned her behind the scenes campaign chaos into a binge worthy Netflix drama in hardcover form and people are already lining up to buy it just so they can circle names in red pen and whisper oh my god she really said that.

The Vice President positions herself as the heroine trapped in a labyrinth of betrayal meltdowns passive aggressive allies and stress snacks because nothing says democracy like watching a grown woman in a designer suit crying into pretzels at 3 a. m.

while drafting talking points and hoping her campaign manager does not quit again.

Harris promises honesty and transparency but let’s be real this is not a civics lesson this is Bravo TV energy dripping from every page with shade thrown at rivals with subtle digs at “allies” who clearly were not allies and enough vague references to keep political junkies busy for years playing detective with highlighters.

She talks about humiliation on the trail the constant feeling of being sidelined and the kind of soul crushing awkward dinners where someone “accidentally” forgets to save her a seat which in Washington counts as open warfare and you cannot help but laugh because this is less House of Cards and more Real Housewives of the West Wing.

One passage describes her storming out of a green room because someone put the wrong brand of tea in her dressing area and insiders are whispering that this was clearly a metaphor for something larger but we all know it was probably just about tea because this is politics and politicians are dramatic toddlers with better lighting.

Critics are calling the book raw emotional and candid which is hilarious because that is PR code for petty gossip that accidentally made it to print and you can feel Harris trying to reclaim the narrative by writing down every micro slight every side eye and every fake smile she endured during the most exhausting 107 days of her life.

A so called campaign insider quoted in the book says “she was a warrior every single day” but if you read between the lines it sounds a lot like “she cried in the bathroom every morning but somehow made it to the podium. ”

Another anonymous staffer apparently told Harris she had “the stamina of a boxer” which is strange because most boxers do not have to debate the price of gas on live television while someone in their earpiece screams about polling numbers.

Readers are calling it refreshing but really it feels like a giant subtweet in hardcover form like Harris is still running for class president but instead of whispering at lunch tables she is publishing her diary for the entire country and cashing a book deal check while doing it.

The most shocking part is how normal the dysfunction sounds because Harris reveals that her campaign often felt like a dysfunctional family road trip with too many egos crammed in one bus everyone screaming about directions and no one agreeing on which radio station to play.

There are mentions of silent feuds with senators who “forgot” to call back of donors who made promises they never kept of strategists who walked out mid meeting because someone ordered the wrong sandwiches and yes she writes about crying in her hotel room while scrolling on her phone like any millennial trapped in an unpaid internship which is essentially what running for office looks like now.

One dramatic chapter recounts a night she almost canceled an appearance because she felt betrayed by someone in her inner circle and she sat in her car staring at the stage door like she was in a sad indie film until a staffer physically dragged her out.

Another highlights her complete exhaustion with fake allies who would smile for photos and then leak dirt to the press fifteen minutes later which honestly sounds less like politics and more like a middle school cafeteria with better wardrobe choices.

Of course Harris frames all of this as resilience and determination but readers can feel the bitterness dripping through every paragraph like she is reliving every slight and finally getting her revenge through footnotes.

She says things like “not everyone had my back” and “I learned who I could trust” which are politician code words for “wait until you see who I expose in the sequel. ”

One fake expert from Georgetown already joked that the book should be categorized under self help because it teaches you how to cope when everyone around you hates you but you still have to smile for the cameras.

Another so called political therapist told the press that Harris’s diary reads less like campaign strategy and more like a group therapy transcript but hey at least she is monetizing it.

Fans of gossip are living for this book because it is not about policies it is about vibes it is about enemies to frenemies arcs it is about the dramatic betrayal when someone stole her chair on the campaign plane and she never forgave them.

People are dissecting passages on TikTok like it is a Taylor Swift album with Easter eggs.

One viral video even slowed down a paragraph to prove that an “unnamed senator” was obviously shading someone specific because only one senator in Washington orders that weird brand of sparkling water she referenced.

Imagine politics boiled down to a subtweet disguised as memoir and you have “107 Days. ”

It is juicy it is petty it is cathartic and Harris knows exactly what she is doing.

She is giving political junkies the one thing they crave more than campaign promises and that is drama.

The ironic twist is that Harris insists this was about transparency and honesty but it comes across as a massive clapback project like she sat down with her diary and said fine you want honesty here is my unfiltered version of hell and by the way screw you for not returning my texts.

The diary entries read like Bravo reunion scripts complete with dramatic pauses and imagined slow motion montages and if this were a reality show she would absolutely be flipping a campaign binder across the room by episode three.

Political opponents are of course mocking the release saying the Vice President should have been focused on governing instead of writing what looks like fanfiction about her own career but Harris supporters are eating it up calling her brave and strong and real which just proves that America will consume anything if you market it as raw.

The funniest part is how Harris tries to blend political gravitas with personal pettiness because one moment she is talking about constitutional principles and the next she is ranting about someone stealing her favorite pen and it all feels like watching C-SPAN after three glasses of wine.

She positions the 107 days as the darkest and most defining of her career but also as a victory lap because she survived the chaos and wrote it down before anyone else could weaponize it.

Essentially she has beaten her enemies to the punch by roasting herself first which is a surprisingly effective strategy in an era when every misstep goes viral.

She laughs at herself she shades others she cries she eats pretzels she emerges victorious and she publishes the whole messy ride in a book that will probably outsell every dry political biography of the last decade combined.

At the end of the day “107 Days” is less about Harris and more about America’s addiction to drama because let’s be honest voters do not want policy they want spectacle they want storylines they want to know who betrayed who in the spin room and who stormed off the campaign bus and Harris has delivered exactly that.

She has written the first true political diary that feels like an episode recap and the fact that she is selling it as literature just makes it even funnier.

Whether you love her or hate her you are going to read it because this is not politics anymore it is gossip theater and Harris is playing the lead role with a wink and a smirk.

Elections may end but the drama never dies and thanks to Kamala Harris’s “107 Days” neither will the gossip.