Paul Lynde, the iconic comedian known for his sharp wit, distinctive high-pitched voice, and unforgettable roles on *Bewitched* and *Hollywood Squares*, was a beloved figure whose humor brought laughter to millions.

Yet behind his cheerful public persona lay a life marked by loneliness, tragedy, and deeply hidden romantic secrets.

Before his untimely death in 1982, Lynde confided in close friends about the harsh realities of being a gay man in Hollywood during a time of widespread discrimination and fear.

 

Born Paul Edward Lynde on June 13, 1926, in Mount Vernon, Ohio, he was the fifth of six children in a modest family.

His father was a local butcher, and his mother cared for the household.

From an early age, Paul felt different and overlooked within his family, overshadowed by his athletic and academically gifted brothers.

He once confided that he felt like a ghost in the family, struggling with deep insecurities and an inferiority complex.

 

A turning point came at age ten when Paul underwent appendicitis surgery but developed peritonitis, a life-threatening condition at the time.

Bedridden for a year, he gained significant weight, which made him a target for bullying at school.

To cope, Paul used humor and self-deprecating jokes, a shield that would become his lifelong defense mechanism.

This early pain and isolation fueled his dream of escaping to Hollywood, where he imagined a life of fame and acceptance.

After graduating from Mount Vernon High School in 1944, Paul attended Northwestern University to study drama and speech, despite his parents’ wishes for a more conventional career.

At Northwestern, he stood out for his comedic talent and charm, making friends with future stars like Cloris Leachman.

After graduating in 1948, he moved to New York City with hopes of Broadway stardom.

 

However, tragedy struck soon after. Paul’s brother Corridon, missing in World War II, was confirmed dead in the Battle of the Bulge.

The shock led to the deaths of his mother and father within months, leaving Paul alone and financially unsupported.

He faced severe hardship, resorting to stealing food and selling blood to survive. Despite these hardships, his dream of fame kept him going.

 

Paul’s unique campy style and sharp wit gradually earned him recognition.

He appeared in the 1952 revue *New Faces of 1952*, marking his entry into show business.

His breakthrough came with the Broadway hit *Bye-Bye Birdie* (1960), earning him a Tony Award nomination.

However, this success also typecast him into roles that played up his campy, grumpy persona — a subtle nod to his homosexuality, which he could not openly express.

 

Moving to Los Angeles in 1963, Paul appeared in numerous TV shows and films, becoming a household name.

His role as Uncle Arthur on *Bewitched* (1965–1971) was iconic, blending magic and camp humor, allowing him to hint at his true self through witty, coded jokes.

He also became a fixture on *Hollywood Squares*, where his quick humor and double entendres entertained audiences for over a thousand episodes.

 

Despite his public success, Paul Lynde’s personal life was fraught with pain.

Living as a gay man in a deeply homophobic Hollywood, he was forced to keep his sexuality a secret.

His campy humor was both a form of self-expression and a mask to hide his true feelings.

He confided to friends that hiding his identity caused deep disappointment and self-blame.

One of the most tragic episodes in his romantic life was the death of his young lover, James Bing Davidson, in 1965.

Bing, a 24-year-old actor, died after falling from a hotel window in San Francisco.

Officially ruled an accident, rumors swirled about the circumstances, causing scandal that led to the cancellation of a TV pilot Paul starred in.

The trauma from this incident worsened his alcohol addiction and deepened his insecurities.

 

After Bing’s death, Paul found a steady companion in Stanley Finesmith, who served as his hairdresser, driver, and caretaker.

Though never publicly acknowledged as a lover, Stanley was Paul’s closest confidant and support system through years of alcoholism, scandals, and personal struggles.

They lived together in the Errol Flynn mansion Paul had purchased, a grand estate that symbolized both his success and his loneliness.

 

Paul’s relationship with Stanley was constrained by the social norms of the era.

They could not openly live as a couple, and Paul’s frustration with this secrecy often manifested in erratic behavior and outbursts.

Despite these challenges, Stanley’s patience and loyalty were a quiet pillar in Paul’s life.

 

Paul’s later years were marked by a series of scandals and increasing alcohol abuse.

He faced multiple arrests for drunk driving and struggled with the pressures of maintaining his public image while hiding his true self.

Alongside Stanley, Paul had discreet relationships with other men, including Dean Ditman and Paul Berezi, who were close friends and, at times, lovers.

 

In 1978, another tragic incident occurred when a young man fell to his death from Paul’s Palm Springs home during a party.

Although Paul was cleared of any wrongdoing, the event fueled rumors and increased his reliance on alcohol.

 

Paul’s health deteriorated due to years of substance abuse.

On January 9, 1982, he was found dead in his Beverly Hills home from a heart attack related to cardiovascular disease.

Rumors of drug overdose and foul play circulated but were denied by those close to him.

His funeral was private, reflecting the need to avoid scandal.

 

Paul Lynde’s life is a poignant example of the cost of living a closeted life in a judgmental society.

Despite his comedic genius and success, he struggled with loneliness, addiction, and the pain of hiding his identity.

His humor was both a gift and a shield, entertaining millions while masking deep personal wounds.

 

Friends and biographers remember Paul as a resilient icon who overcame immense hardships but was ultimately a victim of his times.

His story underscores the importance of living authentically and the heavy toll that societal discrimination can impose.

 

Today, Paul Lynde’s legacy lives on through his memorable performances and the laughter he brought to audiences.

Yet, his life also serves as a reminder of the hidden struggles many face behind the spotlight.

For fans and admirers, Paul’s story is both inspiring and heartbreaking—a testament to the power of humor and the human desire for love and acceptance.

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